Happy Holidays: Project Homeless vF
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Happy Holidays: Project Homeless vF
Level 2 - Value Investor Chasing the FTX and CEL Dip
Project Homeless – Back to the Tent
* Download Presentation Below –> Project Homeless *
Welcome Avatar! Today we are here to present our latest life changing opportunity: Project…Homeless. The Jungle continues to grow strong with dozens of cartoons earning a living wage online, incredible! With the influx of new avatars, it makes sense to remind everyone why we’re here and why homelessness is the new flex.
Now let's flip to Slide 2.
First a general disclaimer that none of this is to be deemed legal or financial advice of any kind. This memorandum is fictitious and being made available for entertainment purposes only. These are *opinions* written by a few young lads working at a clown bank (think Clownman Sachs, JPHonkman etc.) who roleplay as a Cartoon Rubber Ducky on the internet. Currently floating near Madrid (encara Messi!!!!), so not quite homeless yet. Also please don’t actually tell your mom/wife that you want to be homeless, we are not responsible for any physical injuries that may occur as a result of a slap and/or nut tap.
Let’s jump right in, Slide 3 please.
The question we all want to know, “What is a BowTied”? Well, the BowTied Jungle (the “Jungle”) is a niche and completely sane online community focused on getting you richer, healthier, happier and more well connected. By focusing on merit and using extremely direct communication, the Jungle can attract and retain top performers within their expertise (“turbo autist” or “cartoon”).
BowTiedNightOwl is a perfect example. Started out in IB/PE and then transitioned his skills into Defi – dude was literally farming $15-$20k days in 2021 (that’s enough to dine at the finest shelters with his neighbor, the baddie!).
We’re currently in the first inning, which means we’re still creating a foundation and attracting talent from new niches. The next phase is when we start forming the world’s 1st digital country. Over time people will recognize the BowTied brand and we’ll see cross pollination of traffic across many of the Jungle subgroups. The full force of Metcalfe’s Law will be obvious when all the nodes (cartoons) are valued by their brains/talents. We could probably achieve a low-ten digital valuation ($1B) before the Great War of 2028, but we expect the market share gained from the war (pain) to lead to a large step-up that catapults the Jungle into IPO territory. Fr fr no cap.
Let’s move on to Slide 4.
We won’t go into a ton of details since you can always Ctrl F on Twitter. But here’s a few Jungle fundamentals: 1) smile, nod and agree, 2) master your ego and 3) pay it forward.
As a friend, you should be ecstatic when your friends get a huge win. Celebrate and congratulate! Don’t be that guy that’s lowkey jealous. Your friend can tell and you will burn a solid contact. Congrats you’ve played yourself *insert Charlie Murphy laugh & wave*.
For those not in your inner circle, the golden rule is “80% of what they earn” this keeps things in the positive mood territory. You can let people think they’re better than you and peace will remain throughout the kingdom. Just don’t expect legit support from them, because let’s keep it real, they don’t want to see you doing better than them. People remember how you make them feel, not what you say. If you *genuinely* want your friends to be better than you, you’re built different and you belong here.
Next is ego. Quite simple. Lose it. Holding on to it honestly impedes progress and personal fulfillment. The longer you wait to do this, the more unnecessary trouble you put yourself through. A fun experiment: go on a date with someone you find attractive and try your hardest to spit negative game. Tell him/her about your 17 bank accounts, Rolls Royce and Gucci belt; you can even get spicy and hit em with a “Where am I? Where are you?”. Do try to convince them though, it’ll be quite an interesting feeling. Regarding the duties of success, you must find ways to give back.
“Money does buy happiness; you just have to spend it on other people” a beautiful quote from BowTiedJester. The Jungle has another interpretation, whereby opportunity (attention) is given to those who show they deserve it. This weeds out grifters. Moving on, we can turn to Slide 5.
We won’t explain too much more about Lady Luck: 1) she favors people who don’t need it, 2) she favors people who follow what they are good at not what they are passionate about and 3) the less you care the more luck you get. Given the key points are laid out on the slide. Better to keep it mystery and let the universe do its things (hint: everyone loves mysterious people). Let’s keep moving,
Slide 6 my good ser.
This is a main theme of the Jungle: Equal Opportunity Unequal Results. What’s an elite community without world-class experts to support it. Here everyone gets a chance to make it. If you’re talented and consistent, it’ll show. Big truss, big truss.
As you can see in the bottom left, we’ve kicked off the decade with a good start. In addition to official BowTies, we have tons of lurkers (your greatest supporters are often in the shadows) and avid fans that stand with us. Over time the global turbo autist population will grow, and we’ll bet a Clownmask on this (side bar: Mastadon’s got a hilarious gameplan for his Clownmasks). We also expect to see cartoons pop up across various media outlets as each cartoon will concentrate on the medium that best suits their audience. Good luck gatekeeping the Jungle. Even our traffic is diversified, this is the Revenge of the Cartoons.
We’ll walk through an excellent case study on Slide 7.
Welcome our good “bud” Dgen Fren. A cartoon who began his journey drawing funny pictures on his android phone. Eventually the guy was doing all the editing, photoshop and sketching of incredible artwork on his – *random NPC appears* “his phone. Yeah I know…his phone, I’ve heard the story” – bro, who the eff can do that?!?! At one point, he was quite literally the only person in the entire world to be doing what he was doing and the normies will never believe it. Simply amazing.
By taking a bit of free time to kick up his side hustle, he was able to transition into a fully digital income. No boss, no 9AM team meetings, no chatting with passive aggressive coworkers. A self-promotion and a one-way ticket to freedom (to all the room temp IQs: no chance he would be consistently getting 20% raises from 9-5, nada). Sure he’s an exception clearing 6-figures per year as a meme artist. And? We have over 30+ people clearing $1,500 a month which is $18k annually (in under a few short months). Just start and start ASAP.
At the bottom left corner, you can see a few other lessons we can all gather from his journey as a random anon to homeless living in a tent. FYI Jungle-wide autobiographies one day (must be [redacted] to get one).
Who was Dgen Fren before he stared memeing and colluding with the Russians? The world may never know. Now let’s take a brief minute to talk about threads.
Slide 8 please.
If you’re trying to be homeless, there’s no question you should look the part too. And no, you can’t just go to Macy’s or Costco like our “buddy” John Brick here (Autist Note: the Ox knows how to get fit, don’t fade him).
General rule of thumb is that your appearance should be congruent to the person you are and it should receive positive attention if you are trying. Grandmas should love you. Keyword “love you” not “harass you”. Yeah, looking at you ArcticFox. That’s why you get time out sessions!
Next, we’ll cover our beloved “Hashies” on Slide 9.
GM Hashie Fam! Welcome is trolling 101. As a matter of fact, this entire presentation is a troll. It hits all the major buckets of 1) entertainment, 2) tea-bagging the banks, 3) historical significance and 4) decentralized human coordination.
Pinging Faze Banks: you need a clown ser.
A poetic piece of history to hang in the Faze House. As an art that is rarely understood, trolling commands our utmost respect as only a handful of warriors throughout history have wielded the true power in the fullest form. Dave Chappelle is one of them. When will we appreciate comedians as the true defenders of free speech. With that said, shoutout Andrew Schulz – check out his latest special “INFAMOUS” on YouTube. Les Banques Sont Nulles.
Let’s continue to Slide 10.
Here’s the Jungle landscape as it stands today. We have 30+ people making a living wage with Wi-Fi money as a Cartoon Character. Over time, we can expect new talent (nodes) to be onboarded even quicker due to established network effects and connectivity. Promote or ignore. Attention is the currency of the future. Give the haters none. When has betting against geniuses ever been a good idea?
With that said, let’s flip to Slide 11.
Effort and luck go hand-in-hand. Sure you can do well with just one, but you’d could get way farther ahead with both. Don’t handicap yourself by not maxing out your potential. You do the world a favor when you lean into your talents. It’s also true that big wins usually come after a big slap in the face. As it relates to the Jungle, get ready for max pain before we scale up. Don’t live with any regrets, give it your all these next few years. Or tell your grandkids you decided to chill and consciously declined the opportunity to troll banks to zero. Actual max pain.
For your viewing pleasure, we’ve compiled images/artwork from Bull’s Instagram and mapped out their state of mind over the past two decades. We’ll be satisfied if even 30% of these references are laid out accurately. Remember: it’s all relative. Figure out how much you need to be happy and forget it after that. For many of us, 2023 is going to be the start of a new beginning. Give three and be free…you only really need *one good year* anyway (if you’re not foolish about it). Don’t believe it?
Turn to Slide 12 please.
Now let’s take a look at our “pal” Pingu here. In just two years of joining the Jungle, they/them basically 10x’d their/theirs net worth, moved into a high paying role where they/them lives below their/theirs means and has been stacking cash the entirety of 2022. They/them pre-close was NGMI AF.
Just by natural osmosis with intense and accomplished cartoons, Pingu was able catch on and put their/theirs trajectory into the up & right. Autist note: They/them originally thought Linux was a DLC expansion pack for Club Penguin LOL.
Alright enough doxxing, let’s move on to Slide 13.
This is the end game fellas. If all goes to plan (and it will), we’ll all be on the island relaxing with a full buffet. By then beef will be $69 US Tokens / lb. – meanwhile grasshoppers will be free since subsidized by XRP. Remember: if it’s easy to obtain, ask yourself why first. Don’t forget the coconut anon. But in all seriousness, expect the Jungle to be scaled out as a digital nation state.
Honestly, who knows if US Trash Tokens will still be a thing by then. We know banks won’t. But those pesky clown bankers will not stop trying to infiltrate the island! The Morgan Juice is too fire. Fear not Jungle frens, they don’t know about our tactical counter measures (AI-generated push-up bra Susans to raid their IG DMs). You don’t even want to know what we have on standby in the bunker. All we’ll say is “Good luck kid, you’ll need it”. #BanksAreZeros #GetYourHonkOn #TeamClown4Life
Well, that’s all folks! Feel free to DM / comment if you got a good laugh. Tips accepted; we’ll add it to the Clown Fund for future entertainment. FYI: y’all better be tipping 30% minimum IRL or may grasshoppers find their way into your food : )
If you’re talented, we’d love to see what you have to share. Pickle started on a solid list of niches that still need a BowTied. So what are you waiting for Anon, the bow tie awaits you.
For the time being, enjoy the holidays! May there be much snow and snow bunnies this Christmas. Sike, drugs are not cool…..unless you’re doing them with Snoop!
Is there any topic that may have been forgotten? LMK
Origination Credit Here: BowTiedCreditGuy
This presentation was for entertainment purposes and if you were offended by the contents you’re likely a VP at Piper Jaffray who has been stuck on a $50M market cap M&A deal in London while living in Portland Oregon. The irony is if you found it hilarious and funny (and you’re a banker) you likely have a better shot at that deal suddenly closing and you getting your life back. Remember, Lady Luck favors people who don’t need luck and are simply enjoying their lives.
Talk Sunday Anon. We’ll be expecting you.
Disclaimer: None of this is to be deemed legal or financial advice of any kind. These are *opinions* written by an anonymous group of Ex-Wall Street Tech Bankers and software engineers who moved into affiliate marketing and e-commerce. We’re an advisor for Synapse Protocol and on the JPEG team.
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Happy Holidays: Project Homeless vF
Merry Christmas!
Precisely the level of Christmas autism I needed! Merry Christmas all!