The Art of Divorce – Rules of Engagement
Level 2 - Value Investor
Considering the amount of debate on X App/Twitter related to this touchy subject we brought in an expert in the field. Heavily vetted and knows his stuff. So. With that quick intro it is time to hand it over to Angus!
About Angus Knight
I have worked in the Matrimonial Law space for over a Decade, with a practice specialized in HNWI+ Divorces and the significant financial complexities that come with this territory.
Professionally, I have generally been retained by the “Wife’s” Side – and have successfully discovered in excess of $250 million dollars in Hidden Assets/Businesses, and far more than this in terms of Known Business/Assets, to either Negotiated Settlement, or to Court.
The Unknown Truth is that 99% of Divorce Attorneys have no idea how to run these complex cases, and have very little financial literacy beyond a Traditional W2 Divorce.
I am retained to completely run the Strategy of the Case, design questioning for Depositions, and questioning for Cross Examination, as well as pull at the various threads along the way. This is often done from the Shadows, for certain optic reasons.
Over the past few years – I’ve seen more Male Clients who have found me in unconventional ways. I’ve helped many Men escape the system with speed, and as little financial/emotional damage as humanly possible.
Divorce is not Nice.
It is War.
Disclaimer - Review ALL Considered Strategies with Legal Counsel FIRST in your relevant jurisdiction, and always be compliant with Legal Requirements.
Relationship Stages
When you’re reading this – you’ll realize that you fall into 1 of 5 Categories:
Not Married
Married
Married, going to get Divorced Later
Married, Getting Divorced Now
Already Divorced (so you’ll wish this came 3 years ago)
Goal in Any Divorce Case
For Men specifically – the Goal in Divorce Cases is to:
Get out Quickly;
Keep as many Productive Assets as possible;
Limit Alimony either in Duration or Amount;
Maintain Custodial Control and Access of Children.
Are HNWI+ Divorces and Regular Divorces Different?
Yes, absolutely. Rules of the Game are different. Men winning in HNWI+ Divorces can be much easier (if self-employed).
Entirely different strategy in HNWI+ Cases as Capital is important.
What someone Earns, and how much someone is Worth, is a grey area in HNWI+ Cases.
Stakes are higher, too.
I’ve personally sunk Men and their Businesses into Bankruptcy. Make a $10 Million Dollar Business now worth $20 Million Dollars. Husband gets Liquidated, Wife takes Everything. Game Over. Business Gone.
By the same token – Play the Right Hands, and Men can easily Win.
Women in Divorce
Women in Divorce follow 4 Archetypes. Don’t be fooled – they can “Switch” between them fairly quickly.
Type #1: The Settler
Easy Going – Willing to Settle. Wants to be Taken Care of. Wants to have a connection with their Ex-Husband still. Any reasonable offer will likely be taken. Their willingness to fight is low, the drama and stress of Divorce is detrimental to this group.
Type #2 – The Professional
Generally White-Collar or Professionally Designated Women. Will constantly be weighing the Cost/Benefit of further Divorce Proceedings vs. Settlement. Need to game this group out a bit.
They genuinely want “What’s Fair” – but make it too easy, and they’ll push for more. You want them to feel like they’ve “Won” in order to reach a settlement.
Type #3 – Burn it Down (in Court)
This Group is the one that remorselessly throws as many allegations out as possible, with the hope that some will stick and taint your reputation. Nothing will ever be enough for this Group.
Option A) Accelerate to Trial ASAP
Option B) Stall out until they run out of Money to Litigate.
Win at All Costs in Court is the Goal.
If you lose everything, this is “Justice” to her, and still won’t be enough.
Type #4 – Burn it Down (Publicly)
This Group is best portrayed by Amber Heard. The purpose is to Burn It All Down – but publicly – and use the Story to leverage further personal success. Type 3 cares about Court. Type 4 cares about the Court of Public Opinion.
Everything from Type 3 applies, but Type 4’s will also put everything in public view. Expect Calls to your Employer, Business Partners, Clients, Friends, Family, the Starbucks Barista, anyone.
Alpha 1: If Your Ex is a “3” or a “4” - Proceed STRAIGHT To Litigation, and Ignore Collaborative, Mediation, or other “Alternative Dispute Resolution” styled services.
They will Fail.
Central Myths of the Divorce System
This is the part where I make you Angry.
“It’s Not Fair!” Yes, it is.
Men Lose because they’re Not Ready, Haven’t Prepared, and Weren’t Willing to Go HARD. My Experience is that 95% of Men are gunning for “Settlement” right away – this gets capitalized on.
Often playing hard means a better result and more money for BOTH Parties, and a faster resolution.
“The Truth Matters!” I’m sorry. It doesn’t. Facts barely matter. Evidence is the Currency. No Evidence, No Case. Truth and “Facts” are tertiary.
“I Don’t Need to Prepare for Depo/Cross”
You do, or you’ll lose. Kind of like showing up to play in the NFL without training first.
Women consistently hire AT MINIMUM 3 Professionals in Divorce Files.
Don’t be Outgunned. “My Friend knows an Attorney who said...”
Stop. Odds are this Attorney hasn’t even worked in Family Law, and even if they did, would give entirely different advice to you if they knew the Case Facts.
Your Friend is an idiot. You’ll receive a lot of unsolicited advice from Divorced Guys - ignore all of it.
When to Prepare for Divorce
Right Now. We’ve all heard the “Stats” thrown around about Women filing 70% of the time (or more).
This is mostly true.
Husbands get Blindsided and then start making unforced errors. These cases are very easy to Win for Ex-Wives.
Alpha 2: If you Own a Business, it’s very normal to look back at 3 years of financial information (at minimum), and sometimes 5 or more years.
Which means any “changes” will be picked up if made 3 to 5 years before separation. The Smart Guys will figure out what that means.
The Stakes
For Normal W2 Type Guys, or High C-Suite Executives with significant holdings in Public Companies, the results are mostly set in stone. Child Support is based on a set formula. Alimony is based on suggested income ranges.
Marital Property is based on Values at specific dates in time.
If you’re an Employee, can’t really change “Income”, and most Assets are easily appraised. Same goes for someone like Jeff Bezos – Amazon’s Market Value is easily determined.
Self-Employment is where ALL the Grey Area exists.
Is this Consulting Services Company worth $100,000 or $1,000,000?
Answer is, it depends.
For Self-Employed Guys – the Question becomes how to:
Reduce Unfair Income Determinations
Reduce Business Valuations to reasonable levels.
Avoid Severely Detrimental Consequences.
Oh! I nearly forgot.
Alpha 3: Boxers get KO’d on the Punches they DIDN’T See.
In Divorce Law – That Punch is Marital Tort.
Oh, you didn’t know that your Ex can ALSO file a Tort / Personal Injury Claim in a Divorce Case (most jurisdictions)?
Now you do (and Goodbye Prenup/Post-nup).
Surprise! This can be based on allegations of Physical, Psychological, Emotional, or Financial Abuse.
Common Issues / Pitfalls
Inheritances
Generally speaking – Inheritances aren’t considered “Marital Property”, IF Inheritance Funds are kept Separate from any Marital Property.
However – the issue of “Commingling” is always raised, which is more or less saying if Separate Property and Marital Property cross paths, those funds are now “Marital Property”.
Things like:
Deposits to Joint Accounts (even quick in-and-out transactions);
Paying Household Bills;
Putting Money into your Marital Home;
Making Mortgage Payments; and so on,
Will all generally put the Inheritance at a High-Risk of being deemed “Marital Property”.
Even a Pre/Postnuptial isn’t guaranteed to protect these Assets.
Absolute Best Option is having the Inheritance flow to an Inheritance Trust, rather than directly in hand, given these considerations.
Constructive Trust Claims / Unjust Enrichment: Constructive Trust/Unjust Enrichment Claims are highly contentious and have a tendency to catch people (Husbands, usually) REALLY off guard.
The Concept of “Constructive Trust / Unjust Enrichment” rises from Common Law, and is more prevalent in Jurisdictions outside the USA (UK, Australia, Canada, etc.) – however there are some Jurisdictions within the United States that recognize this Claim within the context of “Divorce Law”.
The Basic Premise these Claims (in Family Law) is:
Husband holds Title to an Asset (Property or Business, for example);
Wife contributes to the “Betterment” of the Asset over the duration of the Marriage;
Asset substantially increases in Value over the Marriage;
Husband says “Neener Neener – it’s an Excluded Asset because it was Inherited Property”;
Husband is Unjustly Enriched by Wife’s Betterment over the duration of Marriage;
Wife files Unjust Enrichment Claim for a % of the Asset.
These tend to crop up a lot in Common-Law Marriages, where “Division of Family Property” generally is not contemplated.
Common Examples
Family Business
Husband owns shares of “Family Business”. The business is “Excluded” due to it being Inherited, for example.
Wife works in various capacities in the “Family Business” over a 20-year Marriage. She’s never directly compensated for work.
Business that was worth $5 million dollars before, is now worth $30 million dollars (and is excluded, remember?)
Wife launches unjust enrichment claim for a pro-rata share of the Business’ increase in Fair Market Value over the Marriage.
Real Family Property would be treated the same way.
A similar concept applies if the Ex-Wife Funded the Business / Property over the Course of the Marriage and was not subsequently reimbursed.
Solution: Treat Financial Funding as “Loans” and repay them as early as feasible.
Similarly, pay your Wives a Salary / Wage Rate commensurate with their level of Employment within the Family Business.
Reimbursement Alimony
Wife works and funds Husband’s Medical School Costs.
Couple Divorces 1 year after Graduation (with no marital property to really divide).
The wife could separately claim for “Reimbursement Alimony” which would be additional Alimony Payments in the Future as a means of reimbursement for Tuition and Living Expenses paid on behalf of the Husband.
Marital Tort: The subject of Marital Tort is something of a Third Rail – NOBODY is actively discussing this publicly, which is surprising given the Online Discourse on “False Allegations”.
“Tort” – broadly applied – is seeking Monetary Compensation for Accidental/Intentional wrongful acts that injure a Party, in this case, your Ex.
Within “Marital Tort” there are several means of pursuing a Claim here. Most commonly it is by “Intimate Partner Violence” (Domestic Violence).
Civil vs. Criminal Proceedings: Note – this is NOT a Criminal Proceeding – this is Civil. Burden of Evidence is “More Likely Than Not” or “Balance of Probabilities” – i.e. anything over 50% probability and you lose.
Criminal is “Beyond Reasonable Doubt” which is inferred as “95% Likely”.
Example – OJ Simpson Won his Criminal Trial. Lost subsequent Civil Trial for Wrongful Death, and Damages were $33.5 Million Dollars.
What is Intimate Partner Violence? Domestic Violence (historically) was limited to Physical Violence, such as Assault, Battery, Rape, and so on.
This definition has been broadly expanded over the past few decades to include:
Physical Abuse
Psychological Abuse
Emotional Abuse
Financial Abuse
These definitions are somewhat dependent on the Jurisdiction – but at least at a high level are generally recognized.
This allows your Ex to purse additional compensation (yes, additional), beyond what would be determined within the confines of a Traditional Divorce Proceeding (Alimony, Child Support, Division of Family Property).
This additional compensation would be:
Compensatory Damages (Pain and Suffering, Emotional Distress, etc.);
Medical Expenses and Future Care Costs – (Can be for Life);
Economic Damages (Loss of Past/Future Income – can be for Working Life);
Punitive Damages (if very bad).
To give an idea of “Exposure” – I’ll illustrate #2 and #3.
Ex-Wife is determined to require ongoing Therapy to Age 75. For Argument’s Sake, this plus other related costs are $7,200 per annum.
Claim for #2 is $208,000 (due Today).
Ex-Wife can no longer work as a result of Husband’s Actions. Previously she earned $40,000 per annum.
Claim for #3 is $969,000 (due Today).
Total Damages Award: $1,177,000.
Let’s say in the Divorce, you’re splitting $2,000,000 (50/50).
End Result: She gets everything, you still owe her $177,000, AND ongoing Alimony/Child Support.
Get it yet?
Note that these Claims can either be dealt with during the Divorce Proceedings, or severed and pursued independently in Civil Litigation – i.e. you may face Two Trials instead of One.
Jurisdiction dependent, but there’s generally no Statute of Limitations on “Marital Tort”.
Divorce Alpha Strategies: Now for the High Alpha Strategies. Broken Down by current Marital Status. No Strategy is Perfect.
Think of each as something like an “Airbag” or a “Seatbelt”.
Yes they work, but not always, and the more safety features you have, generally the better off you are.
IF you fall into HNWI+ and/or Self-Employment - Hire a Litigation Strategist behind the Scenes to assist in navigating the various case complexities.
Attorneys can only do so much, and will follow your instruction, but they will definitely NOT tell you what you should be doing, unless it is 100% within the Ethical Boundaries of their Profession.
Unmarried – Self Employed and/or High Net Worth
Obvious Goals being to exclude Business/Assets from Marital Property and Reduce Unfair Income Assessments.
Option A: Prenuptial Agreement
Exclude the Business and Assets. Set Alimony / Child Support to a Specific Formula for Income. Big Issue with Prenups is that the Guys that want them have also been the same Guys that are VERY Secretive and Controlling, which ends up causing the Prenup to fail.
Pros: Commonly Used / Well Established. Relatively Inexpensive
Cons: Will be challenged nearly 100% of the time, and often enough, successfully. Any mistakes, Prenuptial gets thrown out.
Important Points
Disclose Absolutely Everything (Yes, Everything)
Ensure Wife obtains INDEPENDENT Legal Counsel
No Coercion or Convincing or “Contingencies” allowed
No “Fidelity” clauses
They get Stale. Update to a Postnuptial later as circumstances can change.
Have it signed and witnessed in the presence of an/both Attorneys or a Notary Public
Ensure terms are equitable and in accordance with your relevant Jurisdiction
Set custodial arrangements in advance
Marital Tort - if credible - Prenup is almost certainly tossed (as Wife will likely also claim coercion to enter the Pre/Postnuptial).
Option B: Own Nothing, Earn Nothing (AKA use a “Gold Keeper”)
This one is fairly rare, unless hitting $100M+ Private Business Owners, then it’s far more common.
Basic Strategy: have other People own all your stuff “In Trust”.
Can be as Simple as One Company.
Can be as Complex as you can imagine - I’ve seen many of these scattershot across Several Countries with Banks, Credit, Properties, Businesses, Consulting Companies, Lending Facilities, etc. all intertwined.
Pros: Makes Unravelling the Mess very costly and burdensome. Also acts as a Litigation Shield from 3rd Parties, hypothetically. Big Initial Burden of Evidence.
Income is Zero. Assets are Zero. Just like Banks!
Cons: Trust - Whether it be in a “Formal” Trust in your Jurisdiction, or via “informal” Trust Agreement - what you Value is now in the hands of one, or several, different people. They can always take the Money and Run.
High Administrative Costs/Burden - may be offset by Tax Arbitrage. Somewhat relies on not “NEEDING” the Money. You can’t just call the Bank or your “Friend” and pick up $30,000 tomorrow.
Requires significant foresight and planning to have landed funds in hand.
Also requires substantial contingency planning for any downstream issues (such as Death), so Children can access these Assets.
Alpha 4: Imputation Guidelines
Courts generally have Wide Discretion on the Imputation of “Income” as well as what “Assets” are actually yours.
Which means your Income can be “Estimated” by a Lifestyle Analysis, and if the picture is painted correctly, a Judge can arbitrarily impute Asset Values to your Marital Property (this part is trickier).
What is a Lifestyle Analysis?
Add up your Annual Expenses. Calculate what a W2 Earner would need to earn Pre-Tax per annum to pay for these expenses.
There’s your Income. This is used often (and is also used by the IRS).
Married – Self-Employed and/or High Net Worth
Hey, remember that 3-to-5-year look-back into Financials I mentioned earlier?
That’s highly relevant.
Option A: Postnuptial Agreement
Same Pro/Cons as above.
Option B: Own Nothing / Earn Nothing
Still technically feasible, will trigger potentially detrimental tax consequences. When you’re Selling - ensure Fair Market Values are used. Don’t “Spin Off” if there is even the remotest of possibilities of a Divorce in the next 3-5 years, I see this a lot, it’s easy to spot.
The Outside the Box Strategy that’s less seen is running Two Businesses.
Business A (Original): Is Status Quo - Normal Earnings
Business B: (New Co.): Is owned by a 3rd Party and somewhere else. This is the “Slush Fund” / “Rainy Day Fund”.
If you want to be extra fancy - Business B profit-strips Business A via Consulting Fees or Financing Fees.
Legal? It depends on the circumstances. Set up far enough in advance, highly unlikely to show up on a Forensic Review.
Like with anything, always ensure Taxes are paid and income is duly reported. Tax Agencies are avid readers of Divorce Judgements.
Option C: Muddy The Waters
Short Version -
Set up a bunch of different Operating Companies and Holding Companies across multiple jurisdictions
Ensure many “intercompany transactions” and “related party loans” with high frequency
Ensure at least 1 or 2 Companies are in dire need of funds, and leverage out the others to set up Balance Sheet Issues.
Loan Companies Personal Money, then withdraw some of it back via Personal Expenses, then put more Personal Funds back into the Company, and so on.
Pros: Very Complex - Pain to Unravel effectively to a Judge to describe what “Income” or “Value” is. Maintain Control of your Assets
Cons: Administrative Burden and Cost.
Keeping Ducks in a Row
A Good Attorney will spot this from 10,000 miles away - need a compelling reason for the Companies, or reliance on Ex-Wife not having enough access to funds for Legal/Professional Fees.
Married but Divorcing Later / Now – Self-Employed and/or High Net Worth
At this point - the more ‘Aggressive’ Strategies are off the table.
The entire game here is “Damage Control”.
Pay Attention to Optics
Prepare for some pretty crazy allegations of wrongdoing - which beyond “Marital Tort” and other allegations, can set off Red Flags for further investigation as a result of your Lifestyle.
Some of these are:
Consistent Cash on Hand = Cash Business = Undeclared Income
Luxury Watches especially = Cash Business = Undeclared Income
If you’ve ever said “I bought Cryptocurrency” - well, have fun (General Alpha Note - don’t buy/sell Crypto if it is hitting your Bank Account as a “Line Item”)
Any Trips Ever to known “Tax Havens” like a Family Vacation in the Cayman Islands? You’ll be called a Tax Evader
Lifestyle compared to Income - If you’re driving a Porsche 911 and declaring no income, this is a fairly clear indicator of some form of bullshit going on
If there’s a Safe in the House
If you’ve brought home “confidential documents” - can assume she’s seen them, and taken copies. Women Love Secrets.
Any Arguments / Possible Evidence of “Violence” will be coming forward in the Divorce. That time you punched the wall? Ya, that’s coming up again.
Trigger Dates
Dates of Interest are the FIRST Place everyone looks for buried bodies.
Divorce Papers Served? Husband then starts funneling Cash out the Business. Or setting up a 2nd Business in his Brother’s Name and funneling a % of Sales to that Business.
Or Profit Stripping via a 3rd Party.
Or the Business Performance just “Happens” to fall off precipitously right after the Divorce papers are filed.
Easy to See on any comparative summary.
Option A: Leading Experts
If you’re looking for a Lower Business Value, or a Lower Income, you have to learn to tell the Helpful Truth for your Case and Lead the “Expert” towards lower dollar values.
Focus on issues with the Business and why:
It’s Failing, or
needs Cash Flow, or
Planned Geographic Expansion, or
Planned Business Lines Expansion, or
Ongoing Capital Reinvestment Commitments, or
Contingent Litigation / Liabilities against the Business, and so on.
Most Business Owners are used to ‘selling’ the Positive Value of their Business.
This is just the flip side of the same coin.
Most Experts are Busy - and will rely on some version of “your word” & “evidence”.
Invoices and Emails, this sort of thing matters when it’s a provable fact – however “opinions” aren’t facts and applying broad average statistics to a “Specific” Company generally results in projection bias and inaccurate assumptions (hint).
If Profitability has Skyrocketed - is there a Plausible Reason that this is only a “Temporary” Change, and NOT a “Permanent” One?
Alpha 5: The L’Etat C’est Moi
I am The Business. The Business is Me.
All of the Success is due to Personal Goodwill.
“If I go, the Customers will leave. It’s a business built on personal relationships.”
REALLY Effective Strategy to tank a Business Valuation if even remotely true.
Alpha 6: Watch out for Easy Interrogations
Attorney’s and Experts that come in HARD, similar to a Judge Judy, are not effective and typically inexperienced.
If you’re part way into a Deposition or Interview and notice you’re feeling relaxed and at ease, you’ve been opened, and you’re dealing with someone with way more fire power than you would expect.
They’re going to lead you around and keep shaking up lines of inquiry to see what falls out.
Ask for a Break, and come back focused.
Option B: Make It Expensive
Data Dump on the Disclosure Requests.
Keep it “Mostly” Organized, but also not Perfect.
Ensure PDF’s are NOT Searchable.
Paper Copies are Fun.
Definitely provide everything you can. Then say you provided everything.
Then take the subsequent argument to a Motion.
Then find new documents, and file those, along with the old documents, all together, for completeness.
Dig in on objectionable issues, take everything to a Motion.
Rinse and Repeat.
Note: There is a delicate balance between Flagrant Game-Playing and Acceptable Game-Playing.
You want to be in the range of “He’s playing games, but not enough to prove it/do anything about it.”
Option C: For Confusing
Make everything as confusing as possible, while maintaining credibility.
Explain thoughts and steps and rationale and juggle these interchangeably.
Then show up at Trial and make everything extremely simple and easy to understand.
Anyone testifying on Your Ex’s behalf ought to be dragged into the weeds on minor details, and twisted around, to give the impression they don’t actually understand what they’re talking about, or why they’re even testifying.
Simple Frameworks are Persuasive.
Complex and Confusing just annoys Judges.
Make Life Easy, they’re Busy.
Option D: The Co-Ownership Gambit
Offer the Shares, rather than the Dollar Value of the Shares, in the Divorce.
Have a Shareholders’ Agreement already in force regarding The Shares.
100% Compliant within Divorce Law Guidelines. Especially in a Negotiated Settlement.
Divorce gets Finalized; everyone is happy.
However, in the Shareholders’ Agreement, stipulate that the Company (using Corporate Funds) may buy-back the Shares of any Shareholder (i.e. a Call Option for the Company) periodically (up to X times per year).
And HERE is the Value Add.
The Repurchase Price is calculated using a Specific Formula, as set out in the Shareholders’ Agreement, to determine “Fair Value” (i.e. NOT “Fair Market Value”). Fair Value being the lower version of the Two.
Then have the Company exercise the Call Options for Her Shares.
And subsequently note that this is “Income” for her that should be considered in Alimony / Child Support Calculations.
99% of Family Law Attorneys will never see this coming.
You’re Welcome.
Final Alpha Notes on Trial Day
When you go to Trial, your Currency is Credibility.
As the Husband, Opposing Counsel is going to attempt to take you away from “Logic” based reasoning, and force you into “Emotional” reasoning, which for Men is extremely challenging.
If you torch your Credibility early, everything that comes after will be viewed more skeptically by the Judge.
Stick to your Story. If you made a mistake, own it, and repair it.
Pause for objections before responding.
Do not start responses with “Yes” or “No”. If forced into a Yes/No Choice, directly ask the Judge for the opportunity to explain for the benefit of The Court.
If a “Hypothetical” is being proposed - say you don’t understand it, and ask for it to be rephrased.
Putting a “Yes/No” at the start of your response will invariably lead you to be cut off.
When Two Questions or Concepts are being packed into One - ask for this to be rephrased or point out that they’re asking Compound Questions.
Stay Calm, not Combative (they’ll want you Combative). Keep Eyes on You, not Opposing Counsel, and when the question offers wiggle room, take it.
The Majority of Family Law Attorneys are not experienced Cross-Examiners, and when you start to break up the direction and pattern of questioning, many end up getting lost in unimportant issues and can’t find their way back.
Body Language, Tone, Speech Patterns, etc. will all play a significant role in how you’re perceived. Seek Professional Training.
Prepare for a grueling couple of weeks (or more) with many ups and downs but remain visibly calm and collected.
Finally - If you’re served Divorce Papers, take 100% of the Alcohol in your House, give it away to Friends/Family, and don’t drink at all until the Divorce is finalized.
For the high IQ readers (many of you), you’ve already spotted the way to set yoruself up. Both men and women. If you have questions on it we’ll answer them for the monthly Q&A for paid subs. Comments here are closed to avoid the inevitable cess pool.
Angus Knight is reachable via Twitter/X from the link
Disclaimer: None of this is to be deemed legal or financial advice of any kind. These are *opinions* written by an anonymous group of Ex-Wall Street Tech Bankers and software engineers who moved into affiliate marketing and e-commerce. We’re an advisor for Synapse Protocol 2022-2024E.
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