Custom Suited Down with a Penguin
Level 3 - DeFi Virgin Analyst
“Drip too hard, don't stand too close. You gon' f*** around and drown off this wave.” – Lil Baby
Welcome Avatar. Guest Manifesto dropping in here to spit some game on Custom Suiting in the Year 2025. Been seeing custom suits questions pop up nonstop, so figured this would be a good time to formally address the honorable Cartoon Network. While our audience doesn’t dress like the average Normie, and certainly never like a Clownbanker, do enjoy this read as we patiently wait in the $200k BTC loading screen…......Not to mention bring some nostalgia for our readers on the West Coast.
I want to say it’s as simple as throwing on an Etro blazer or something by Tom Ford’s Atticus Collection. But you need to know the game within the game. This data, up until now has been hidden in the internet archives, and revealing it might even get me in trouble. It’s not unlike when that LAPD cop got mixed in with the detective to expose that Hong Kong crime syndicate. Heard Ricky Tan and his crew went to work on them boys in a massage parlour. So don’t take this data sheet lightly, I’ll do my part to help. And don’t worry about me……Dan’s Defense (and the Hush Puppy for the minor inconveniences).
Why Bother Going Out Custom Suited Down
If you’re reading this, then you probably already sense that a well fitted Custom Suit is more than just fabric and threads. It’s a time-tested weapon in a world where perception is power. And since most people aren’t taking it seriously, it’s probably worth looking into.
I used to think guys who wore suits everywhere were tools. And yeah I was totally wrong. Nothing like seeing a 2 button Satin Lavender suit with notched lapels, Pink interior, White and Pink pocket square and loafers by J.M. Weston, to change your perspective. And the whole ensemble will only set you back about $3,700 USTT.
Let’s break down why Custom Suits are Dope. The Original "Investment in Yourself"
1. Respect. Aside from enjoying your own exceptional taste, rolling around suited down first let’s people know you are a gentleman of remarkable ability and high quality — hard to diss someone who’s made a commitment to excellence. Second, it shows you to be a true tastemaker of unwavering individuality. Many people claim they’re special and unique. Trust me there not. Come to think of it, very few have the ability to dress sharp while still being themselves and even fewer will have the courage to try. And third, your well-fitted custom suit brings an aura of power well worth its weight. People want to be near others *they feel* give off positive vibes. So let their electric state of mind work wonders for you.
2. Confidence. Rolling suited down in a big city simply makes life easier. If you have never tried going out in a suit/blazer, I definitely recommend looking into it. You will stand out in the sea of NPCs instantly and command attention in a very positive way. The whole idea is to separate yourself from Le Normies. News just in….Le Normies do not have Expensive, Sinister, Hand-tailored English or Italian suits. Nor do they have cryptographically secured internet tokens but that’s a story for another time. I’ve lost count of the events or introductions that all started with the Suit. Not to mention the ladies that will be stepping to you all night. Could be my brutally handsome good looks. Could be the Custom Suit. Hard to track. Do I care? No.
3. Impressions that matter. Dress to impress right. Well what impression are you going for? How about Young Successful Ripped and Handsome with a Winning Personality and Time Freedom (Degen Island, Cartoon Swagger). Simply dress the way you want people to treat you. A well dressed gentleman will have many doors opening for them and make existing opportunities that much smoother. Jet set smooth. Dressing sharp is also financial advice as better looking people generally earn more long-term and have an edge in sales (dating) – very relevant for career and business. Funny enough people are suddenly “nicer” and more willing to spill their business to you. This will come in handy when you need to keep your ear to the street.
When should you go out in a Custom Suit?
Every chance you get.
“The Racetrack. The Boxing Match. The card game. The Private Club. The High End Wedding. The Mansion Party. The Art Gallery opening. The Casino floor. The Charity gig. The nightclub opening. The French Riviera Yacht Party. The Lobby bar of a 5 star hotel.” – theGManifesto
Make sense?
Give it a shot.
Plus it is simply fun. Something about having a Custom Italian suit, the key to a Porsche 911 C4S in your pocket, a Thick Bankroll, your beautiful girl by your side, stepping out of your suite at the Four Seasons on your way to a surf & turf dinner that just makes you wanna smile. Life's simple pleasures.
Styling Your Custom Suits
When I talk about taking advantage of life Custom Suited down, I do not mean dusting off the vanilla 9 am to 5 pm Clownbanker suit. Which is a navy or black suit with a white or powder blue shirt and no pocket square, to be Crystal clear (and I don’t mean that Dancer from the Penthouse named Crystal, real name Kelly either).
Instead, I’m talking about the 9 pm to 5 am International Playboy suit. A suit with flair, personality and flash. A statement-making suit that lets people know you’re wearing it *by choice* and not to work.
It’s no secret Wall Street Cats are known for dressing horribly. Why? Ask Plato. Whoever created Clownbanker DNA forgot to delete the “dressing weesh” part so the rest of us have to live with it.
But first a little context:
I think the challenge some guys may face is they've only seen the accountant work suit and don't really know the difference. It comes down to the "seriousness" of it (or “vibe” for Zoomers). Most people associate suits with boring corporate dorks. So you want to get away from that over-seriousness working element, but still look sharp. You want to be having FUN and enjoying life. The suits aren’t serious, they’re stylish, they’re smooth and they’re masculine.
If you pull up the team webpage of any finance or law firm, you’ll quickly see that our suits are different than theirs. These are the Brooks Brother garbage bags that fill up a lame Midtown Clownhattan sports bar, just to spit game on push-up bra Susan or HR Becky. Don’t show up like them. Actually, don’t show up at all.
Before anyone brings up the balling 28 y/o VP at Goldman with a fashion sense (the 1% exception) — he can probably keep the same suit from both the Board meeting for the Michelin-star dinner with his private Korean tutor. You are learning new languages before you travel, right Anon? Anyway, as you level up in life, the suit matters a bit less and you can actually pull off the same suit in both social and formal settings.
See two variations below.
Here Stephan Winkelmann (Lamborghini CEO) says “Yes I’m the face of a multi-billion dollar enterprise and after this I’m jumping into my SVJ Roadster with my stunning lady to enjoy a lunch at the Monte-Carlo” while Felix Dennis (English Poet) tells you “I’m going to rock whatever I like and it works because I got it like that”.
Clothing is a non-verbal expression of your personality. A very visible and positive expression. Then add in your winning personality, and now you’re Game 6 Jordan in the 1998 NBA Finals. First-Class swoops only. Guess having some Autist Blood in you also doesn’t hurt.
The Right Suit for You
So you’re a cartoon who cashed out some cryptographically secure internet coins, and you’ve decided to step into the world of Custom Suits.
My advice?
Make sure you’re in shape first. If you are in mad good shape, a Custom Suit is crazy dangerous.
Your suits should be tailored or made-to-measure *at minimum* since off the rack sizes are made to fit the average people………..And you should not be averaged sized for your height. Otherwise, going custom is probably a waste since ready-to-wear fits fine. I take this, of course, as a good sign. As in, you get to dial in both your health and physique, two birds one stone with the Adonis effect. The original “Yield Multiplier”.
Here are the different suit types below:
Ready-to-Wear ($$). These are your “off the rack” suits you can pick up on the fly at Saks Fifth Ave. I cannot recommend (nor do I have) more than one, as you will likely run into problems either with fit, style or quality. Once you get a taste of your potential, you almost never want to settle for less. At this point, I would probably only wear mine if I was going to mow the lawn. Price range: Sub $1,xxx USTT, higher if you go designer.
(Autist Note: If you opt for ready-to-wear, make sure your tailor gets the fit down tight. Air-tight. Shoulders will be the most important part, as everything else flows from there. Sleeve length, midsection and back can all be adjusted. But make sure you have excess fabric running horizontal behind your arm so you can cross your arms comfortably. Or that your Functioning Cuffs and pockets don’t look out of proportion when you change the length. Or that you taper just enough for a crisp silhouette. Or that….you get the point. A ton of work and still a chance you don’t like the way it fits……over a few hundred United States Trash Tokens. Pass.)
Made-to-Measure ($$$). This is where most will likely end up. If you’ve been staying in shape, going MTM is adding high octane fuel to your athletic figure with cloth cut to fit your exact measurements. You’ll also get to enjoy all the customizations (ie number of buttons, pleats, vents, lining, cuff, lapels, waistband and contrast stitching etc etc) which will depend on the limits of the individual tailor’s manufacturing process.
MTM suits can involve some tailoring, though they are usually machine-made overseas and will fit your measurements but not be 100% to your specific body. Many MTM tailors also have a set style built into their standard block pattern (suit silhouette), like a brand that is known for making shorter jackets for instance. So testing their try on suits will help you see if you like their silhouette. The finished suit will fit your height and basic shape, but the results may leave something to be desired (small adjustments at the fitting should do the trick). MTM gets you 90% of the way there. Prices typically range between $1,xxx — $3,xxx USTT.
Bespoke ($$$$). Now this is stuff for the pros. Bespoke (meaning cloth that is “spoken for”) is a 1 of 1 original suit silhouette made for you. This is Citadel level stuff. F1 Paddock Club stuff. Setting up in International Tax Havens stuff. Entry costs start at $3,xxx USTT…..$6,xxx when you’re dropping dinero for a Duncan Quinn (which is a steal considering its “get laid guarantee”).
A well-made bespoke suit is going to feel incredible and be shaped to your specific body (accounts for stuff like individual shoulder slopes, back curvature and posture). No pulling, no restricted movements. Not to mention high quality materials and construction with all the custom features from their options library (which can get extensive). When a professional is spending 40+ hours hand making your custom suit, you can be sure you’re getting a garment crafted at the highest level (a work of art in my humble opinion).
Keep in mind the lead time for bespoke, which takes several fitting over the course of several months, and even up to a year for some of the finer clothiers in Savile Row or Milan (not a problem for Mad Scientist Cartoons that frequently fly to the South of France, courtesy of Delta One and American Express). Though getting only one suit made by one of the Row houses may prove to be a less than pleasant experience. Tokyo, Seoul and Hong Kong for my Degen Island Asia frens.
Look out for tailors that advertise as bespoke but then outsource fabric cutting, stitchwork or straight up produce overseas. Far more pretenders than skilled professionals. And if you’ve seen how most guys dress on the red carpet, you would seriously question if there were many fine, skilled bespoke tailors left in the United States of Asia. So if anyone questions your purchase, tell them that three button steel-blue Kiton, sea gray Jermyn Street shirt and red Valentino pocket square is a charitable donation to support an endangered art form.
Alright I just got off a conference call with Plato. We discussed the fact that Made-to-Measure is good enough 99% of the time, especially since bespoke can get quite pricey (money better spent on Language Lessons or jewelry for mom). Aside from Platinum Diggers, no one will notice the difference. Plus it is beef for flavor season. Maybe in 2035 when Homeless. (Side note: While handmade bespoke suits are the true definition of “custom suits”, we can refer to made-to-measure as custom for the purpose of our discussion).
Choosing Your Tailor
Who your tailor largely depends on your specific build and preferred silhouette. You’re better off choosing a tailor with a house style that you like based on your body type. Tailors cut clothes that tailors cut, so if a tailor (even a good one) makes clothing in a house style you don't prefer, you should find a different tailor who does. You wouldn’t have Mexicans to make your Omakase sushi.
Finding a good tailor does take some work. You have to see what silhouettes you like, what options are available nearby and if those tailors are any good. Might have to sample around. (Disclaimer: It's also entirely possible that your MTM or bespoke tailor could give you a bad suit. Maybe they had an off day, or the fabric is poorly made, or it fits but you don’t love it). How you feel when you wear the suit is most important. And sometimes it takes a garment or two (even for a good tailor) to dial in on exactly what you want.
Once you do find a few tailors you like, remember to take care of them. They are in charge of the way you look after all and that’s certainly deserving of a bottle of Sangiovese every Christmas. Helps keep the wheels greased.
The Made-To-Measure Outfit
While it’s hard to go wrong with custom Prada or something from Brunello Cucinelli, I’m willing to bet Suit Supply can cover virtually 99% of all your suit needs for the majority of people. They have world-class fabrics (don’t quote me on the specifics, a bit above my pay grade), solid customization and great price points. Hard to beat when you add in convenience and service.
Over the summer, I might have accidentally added 15 lbs to my overhead press and outgrew my winter wardrobe. Thank my friend Raphael for offering to have everything altered again (on the house). I even speak a little Italian to him from time to time (for style points of course) so you can guess who got the pro bono dress shirts? Nothing better than free rolling doubles in a Bull Run.
Now here’s how I get fitted:
Jacket
Seeing a classically proportioned suit is like witnessing Clownhattan live on opening day for the Cartoon. A beautiful sight. I will typically run a traditional silhouette. This means wider shoulders, longer jackets and better waist suppression with straight legged pants. This gives me a V-shaped upper on a columnar lower. I even have this double-breasted Zegna (DB 6 x 1) where the buttoning point is even lower, which creates a longer lapel line that crosses the body for a more flattering V-shape.
I avoid slim short jackets with high buttoning points at all costs. They emphasize the hips and make you look wider in the midsection. The waist is supposed to be the narrowest part of the suit and that’s where you want the buttoning point to be.
Contrast stitching? Not on my serious suits. Many people do bright white or red on a dark business suit, to show off “custom craftsmanship” and they are idiots. This defeats the elegance and has a clashing look. On top of that, many MTM tailors produce overseas where the contrast is simply swapping thread colors in a machine. This makes a low-effort buttonhole that comes out with rough edges. Want the real deal? Milanese only.
Here’s a few more. Patch pockets typically for casual jackets only. No notch lapels on double-breasted jackets. Single-breasted peak lapels require high attention to detail. This means making sure there is good width that is proportionate to your body, long length, crisp roll and a sharp strong peak. You don’t need to button the bottom button and you don’t keep the jacket buttoned when you sit. I opt for higher armholes for more freedom and mobility. Need to be able to Shadow Box when listening to some dope tracks. Collar gaps, shoulder divots and fabric pulling are a red flag. Your tailor would know. And lapels should lay flat on the chest (just like fly model girls in your suite at the Ritz).
Trouser (RIP Snake)
I pretty much keep it high-rise only. This means I get better proportions on the overall silhouette and there’s no shirt sticking below my jacket’s buttoning point since the pants sit higher on my waist. I really don’t have much of an opinion on things like pleats, coin pouches and pocket styles, those are up to you. But I do think pants look best with very minimal tapering and slight or no break.
You do not need to get everything slim and skin tight. A suit is supposed to flow and drape, not fit like spandex from a hipster’s Halloween costume. The problem with very slim tapered, low rise trousers is that they usually emphasize your hips — making the midsection look wider instead of your shoulders. The room temp IQ cartoon dog from Mickey Mouse (named Goofy) wears low-rise trousers. What more do you need to know?
Side tabs are the way to go. It’s a much cleaner look that doesn’t disrupt your silhouette. Although I know a few sinister Gs who prefer belt loops and the fashion accessory, which double downs as a Persuasion Tool in the right situations. But that is neither here nor there. (Side note: I have not *worn* a belt in five years. Do with that information as you will.)
Shirt
My dress shirts are either MTM or bespoke. This makes sure the fit is air-tight with and the style is spec’d with precision. Don’t bet on Samantha (blue-haired liberal arts major that designs for Zara) to know that a sand beige linen shirt should be free flowing and looks dope with a buttoned flap chest pocket. Crisp and tall shirt collars are very important to me, so I always make sure the collars reach the lapels. The Italians just get it.
Once the tailor has your size pattern down, every shirt after that becomes automatic. See a fabric you like? Find the swatch and get it delivered in 3 weeks. Shoulders got bigger from lifting? Set a quick meeting to adjust your size pattern. My cartoon friend (who I may add is a world-class BioTech exec and an expert in the Asian Wine Table trades) tells me “I just pick the fabrics, he has my measurements”. Unsurprisingly this same cartoon once closed a deal because the other guy was willing to trade for his tailor in exchange (maybe he can introduce you too).
Proper Cloth is a great start. Jermyn Street for the Sea Island custom bespoke cotton shirts. Turnbull & Asser is another brand known for shirts. But I also know this jackass that swears by this brand, so I don’t wear any.
Vest
I pass on the vest each time and keep the extra dinero for my bankroll. It’s not 1857 anymore and having one won’t make or break your fit. But if you are going for the “Gray Market Commerce” look, keep the vest high-cut on a formal suit and low-cut on casual dinner suits.
Overcoat
I have a big thick overcoat that goes down past the knees. This gives you a long vertical line and good volume. Can’t get that same silhouette with a shorter slim fit coat that cuts off mid-thigh. Features like a martingale, ticket pocket and action back makes it “not just any other overcoat”. Bolder colors and patterns can give you the extra zip you need.
Since the coat is designed to fit loose, you can get away with sizing up a ready-to-wear coat instead of going bespoke which will run you north of $4k USTT (unless you want an S-Tier coat with all your custom features). SuitSupply also has a solid MTM version at $900 USTT and you could always thrift a vintage piece for a good price. And if you’re stopping by Reykjavík, Iceland, make sure it’s thick and warm…….if you plan on staying alive, thanks Bull. (P.S. yes long overcoats look good on manlets too, don’t worry Mastadon).
Shoes
Always spend the money on shoes. Dope shoes can last you 5 years minimum if you take care of them (thank your cobbler) so make sure to invest in a high quality pair. When you allocate the costs across years it starts to make sense. Go for comfort and design here. And extra style points for dope shoes that are not black or brown. Loro Piana. Prada. Berluti. YSL. J.M. Weston. Gucci. Christian Louboutin. Rubinacci. Giuseppe Zanotti. A. Testoni. Crockett & Jones. Carmina. Bruno Magli. Or hell, custom Gators.
Shall I continue?
Accessories
I will typically keep the accessories light but bold. Another great opportunity to showcase your snap, swagger and energy. Personally my go-to is suit, v-neck/shirt, dope square and fly shoes. Occasionally the watch or cufflinks. Rarely a tie. The ROI on bracelets, tie pins, tie bars, lapel pins, chains etc is less obvious and it doesn’t really get noticed as much. So I didn't bother spending a ton to build a collection.
With squares the only wrong way to wear one is by not wearing one. Go for strong contrast in a harmonious way. This will draw attention without having a clashing color scheme. If you look below, you’ll notice that all of these squares combinations could theoretically work (color irrelevant when it’s E. Marinella) but the contrast and pairing is much better with the royal blue, red and orange.
Pro-Tip: Red is not just a color, but a state of mind. It would be wise to keep a red square handy. Few.
Cufflinks are dope too. Key is to make them very relatable or super high end. Either way they’re getting noticed quickly and the reaction should be positive. Relatable means having some emotional tie with your audience for entertainment value. For instance, a sterling silver golf club cufflink is going to immediately catch the eye of someone who plays 18 holes every other week.
While I don’t plan on being a middle-aged Pokemon collector, having one fresh watch can help kick custom suiting into higher gear. A dope Swiss timepiece never hurt anybody. That being said, I like something highly recognizable and liquid too. Means you can always flip it to cash if you ever end up in a pinch (Submariners, Daytonas and Offshores work well here). When you got on a nice watch people will just listen to you, for no legitimate reason. Associating fancy watch with success makes no sense to me but that’s their logic. Can even get fish to stick around (long enough for a photo at least).
Dressing Well on a Budget AKA “Strategic Shopping”
While I do not encourage or believe in taking shortcuts, you *can* dress well on a budget and get 90% of the results of a custom suit without spending thousands of dollars (a sharp $400 USTT suit outshines a $4,000 USTT mess every time) – especially helpful for young and upcoming cartoons. We all start somewhere and some even from nowhere. That being said, opting to be cheap is not worth it long-term.
First things first, sort out the basics (white shirts / v-necks) then save up for your key pieces (blazer & accessories etc). Since you’ll likely be buying off-the-rack, you won’t be able to customize features like collar, lapels, pocket styles etc. So flag down items with features you like and be the first in line when a sale pops up. Holiday sales are undefeated. Nordstrom Rack and Saks Off Fifth also have tons of quality items year-round, especially for shoes, including brands like Magnanni, To Boot New York, Bruno Magli and Allen Edmonds.
Autist Note: WallStreetPlayboys first mentioned To Boot years ago and no one talked about it, literally no one. Was the first pair I bought and I still rock 'em to this day in case you are wondering.
When you level up, try to ramp up the entire image as a whole. Imagine having on a Custom Gucci, shirt by Duncan Quinn with a $40,000 Vacheron Constantin Overseas, but you live with your parents at home. It’s incongruent. Same as tweaking on your date over the $3 cheese add-on while wearing a two-piece Dior Homme suit. You will get laughed all the way back to Zanesville with Extra Guac on your face!
Common Mistakes to Avoid
It’s honestly crazy how this info has been public on the internet for over a decade and still many people are falling on these landmines. And I mean even guys that know what’s up and have some coin. It’s cool. Even the sharpest G can stumble.
Here are the Top Ten miscalculations:
1. The Wrong Items: When you roll out in a black suit, black shoes, white shirt and tacky Gucci or Ferragamo belt, count how many minutes before someone asks you “Um do you work here?” because you are wearing matching outfits with the waiter. Congrats, you played yourself. But wait! What if you throw on some crap tie and maybe even a *flashy* white pocket square? Hahahahaha laugh attack. Almost as bad as the “dressed up casual” sport coat and jeans look. Stop………For the sake of our industry. I don’t have to tell you that this would be a satisfying victory. For the People.
2. Five Essential Suits: There’s mainstream advice (always wrong) of “getting Tan/Black/Navy/Brown/Gray suits to mix-and-match 75 different combinations” which Dieworkwear breaks down more elegantly below. It’s unlikely all of these outfits match your preference and purpose, so don’t bother wasting money to maximize combinations. And no one *needs* a black suit. That is unless it’s jet black two-buttoned with peak lapels and side vents. With an interior so crimson we could be Burmese Ruby hunting in Southeast Asia. Pocket Square the glow of Japanese Pearls.
3. Sloppiness: There’s always a few underdressed regular guys pulling up in a white t-shirt, LV belt and ripped designer jeans (Los Angeles’ worst contribution to fashion since bedazzled shirts) with a $40,000 USTT Audemars Piguet Offshore. This only works if your watch costs more than her house (although not that hard if she's homeless too??). But you get the broken picture. There’s also white undershirts underneath a white dress shirt. Like come on dog. It’s 2025, you’re not even trying at this point. Last one. Expensive fabrics with an unflattering fit or skinny lapels and weak collars. Can’t teach this stuff.
4. Cheap Fabrics: Many times you’ll see people opt for poorly made off the rack suits because you can buy 3 for the price of one custom suit and the reason is “who cares if you get it dirty when partying”. Couldn’t be further from the truth. At that price point, there is a high chance the fabrics are not going to feel / look great. Not to mention the additional time and money on alterations just for the suit to still feel like crap. Better off paying up for quality fabric on a MTM and skip the headache entirely. Buy once Cry once.
5. Tacky Designs: When picking patterns, double check that it has not already been worn by Conor McGregor or a Shein catalog model. No hate, just reality. Lean on your color/design skills here, otherwise it won’t look flattering. It’s important that the pattern doesn’t look like it cost $200 or came in a three-for-one deal. And no pattern matching telegraphs amatuer hour. If you disagree, see what happens when you approach two Russian 10/10s at the SkyHigh bar wearing Babushkas (You can ignore my advice on this one—but either way, you won't make that mistake twice). Zanesvillle!
6. Going Too Fast: While tempting to slip your tailor a Trezor with 5 ETH for 10 bespoke suits (P2P discount of course), you’re not going to know what you like without trying different styles. So it’s probably best to build your wardrobe slowly over time. Not to mention your preferences and body may change.
“Over time, you are going to like different things about suits, ie Ticket pocket VS No Ticket Pocket, Peaked Lapels VS Notched Lapels, Straight Pockets VS Hacking Pockets, Center Vent VS Side Vents, Pinstripe VS Chalkstripe, etc etc etc” – theGManifesto
7. Shrinkflation: To my friends that recently got out of prison and just learned about the “glitter shirts and tight jeans” for *mens fashion* in the 2010s…..wait until you see guys in 2025 wearing crappy skin-tight shrunken suits. Old-school players are rolling in their graves. The wave of slim fit short jackets, high buttoning points and low rise tapered trousers ruins the harmony of your suit. Like you threw it in the dryer and only worked on glutes for the past 3 years. If you’re going to spend the money, please get it in your correct size. The idea of an ill-fitting suit is something I cannot register.
8. Neglecting Shoes: Show me someone who disregards their footwear, and I'll show you someone that hasn’t mastered the Game. Shoes can make or break an outfit. Ignore them and your entire look crumbles. Like dress sneakers. Or tan shoes on dark suits. Those guys lost before they left the house. Generally the color should complement your outfit as you don’t want to divert attention downward (unless intentional). Scuffed, dirty, or worn-out shoes telegraph “I am sloppy” no matter how sharp your suit is. Keep them polished, repair worn soles and opt for high-grade leather over cheap synthetics. Your cobbler will know. You do have a cobbler right?
9. The Wrong Colors: Setting aside fit, the colors you choose are drastically more important than the brands you pick. Painful to see someone wearing all high-end brands but with colors that totally clash and it looks like they’re doing too much to stand out. Well what colors look the best with your skin complexion? Check out “Color for Men” for a solid breakdown (Hell I am kicking the solid gold sh*t. You can do some of the work).
On the other hand, when your scheme needs some color. You can roll with a flashier suit — not your run of the mill navy pattern — to add some spice. And since your suit is flashy, throw on a shirt that is more lowkey. A neutral color that compliments the suit. Some color wheel ninja sh*t. And if the suit is more neutral, ramp up the shirt. A little flair and you’ll have all the kick you need.
10. Overkill: The key is to make your outfit look effortless. Smooth chill and Tranquilo. And not like you read an article written by an anonymous cartoon penguin on custom suiting. Ha! For example you can go: (A) loafers, blazer, dress pants, watch and v-neck or (B) suit, button down, no tie, cufflink and no watch. I would not roll out in a suit + tie + tie bar + watch + expensive dress shirt + links + gators. Overkill. Keep it simple.
Three more. Top Ten sounded better in the intro than Top Thirteen. You can appreciate that, right?
11. Overextended: For some reason every 22 year-old banker cannot wait to get their $950 USTT Gucci Loafers. Tempting yes. But that is ~1% of pre-tax pay…..not completely necessary when just starting out and savings are minimal. Forget custom gators. Apply the same concept to watches and its shocking how many are overspending. But let the record state, Gucci Loafers remain undefeated (I am 12 - 0 in God’s Country).
12. Damage Control: This also falls into #11. If you are *worried* about drinks spilling and scuffing your shoes, it means you couldn't afford it. A good gut check is if you could get 2-3 of them in cash and have *no change in lifestyle* or if you’d be absolutely fine if it somehow got ruined within a few wears of you going out. Obviously don’t wear your Gucci loafers to a low-end dive bar but the worry of potential damage should not take up any mental space.
When I was in Atlanta, someone dosed Cranberry all over my cream suit. My Custom cream suit. My 6 button peaked lapel double breasted (and I am not talking about that Nightlife Princess either) cream suit, with steel blue custom shirt and White Gold Rubinacci Pocket Square……… My reaction? Nothing …….. Think of it as the cost of doing business.
13. Ignoring Maintenance: If you’re going to invest in a high quality wardrobe you have to factor in the care and maintenance. No different than upkeep on a Ferrari if you want it at peak performance. This means dry cleaning, spot-cleaning minor stains and pressing to remove wrinkles without damaging the fabric. Wide wooden hangers, brush to keep it fresh and inspect for loose threads or buttons. I wanted to say rotate suits to avoid overuse, but when you have as many hard hitting combinations as Canelo, that shouldn’t be a problem.
Nightlife Beyond the Threads
In 2024, I had the pleasure of running up New York City Custom Suited Down and it has been incredible. And as a young Cartoon, the custom suits did help me rival bigger wallet men by simply knowing how to dress. If you’ve read BowTiedBull’s NYC City Guide (LINK) or BowTiedPlayer’s NYC Report (LINK) or simply walked around SoHo for more than 5 minutes, you’ll realize NYC is an elite city with top flight competition.
But when you roll into a place Custom Suited, you are by default the #1 guy there. The rest is up to you to win or lose. And if you don't take it seriously, while everyone else is, you are winning. Plus, with the Bankroll (more on this later) and Confidence to match, its a clean KO every night.
Quite intriguing to see a 21 year-old that looks 17 but has the wardrobe of a 30 year-old. Even funnier when you start throwing down Cartoon Game or even Homeless Game (my favorite), talking about a legendary Clownmask pool party with my friends BlueFin & Narwhal on Degen Island 2035.
This is all very funny because I used to not dress sharp at all. I had the average Silicon Valley software engineering nerd look going. But then again, I looked like I was 15 in college, wore jeans and didn’t build a frame yet. Suits were not for me back then, but they did help a ton post college. Was a pretty sudden realization now that I think about it.
Seeing is believing
A little story: I just flew back to the city after a month-long assignment in San Diego and hit up my lad “Edward” upon arrival to rendezvous at the Club Room of Soho Grand. I was Custom Suited Down, he was in upscale nightlife attire: dope pants, leather sneakers, bomber and a Santos. We walk in and not even 5 minutes passes before the first wave hits. Girls are introducing themselves, their friends and even buying me Casamigos shots.
I could’ve said “I love Fart” and it wouldn’t have stopped the flow. At one point I was Number Crunching with the “Add Contacts” screen already open. Though the classy way is asking for the number and I remember it (you can just write it down when you walk away!). An old school move that fly girls will be impressed by. Things were going great until I got kidnapped by the French Ukrainian duo from earlier. I was like frosting, you know, sitting on cake.
Fast forward three weeks later, I see him pull up in a custom charcoal 3-piece. And I was dying. Converted from that one night. Suits are not for everyone. But they work for me. And apparently Edward. I think Suit Supply owes me a thank you card. Or at least some pro-bono linens this summer.
Base of operations
If you’re trying out a new venue, show up early and start with chatting up the bouncers on the way in. Maybe even a couple times throughout the night. Be chill, get to know them, tell them you're an up and coming cartoon looking to make their mark in the Game etc etc. Then as you wrap up your night, leave a tip on the way *out*. Good chance they remember you and help you skip the line next time (past VIP too I may add). You writing this down? Study the Art of Grease.
(Autist Note: Take a quick pause at the entrance when you first walk in. It’s a subtle move, but now you own the room. Now most people rush straight to the bar. Instead you head to the restroom and take note of where to position yourself for maximum traffic flow. By the end of the night, you’ll have the place Locked Down like Fort Knox.)
Of course when you come back, make an effort to meet the owners, managers, the wait staff and it should be smooth sailing from there. You might even get introductions to other Gs there. Not to mention tax-free meals (cash discount) and comped dishes. What’s that worth? Certainly a C-Note. Congrats your Base of Operations is secured.
Efficient and effective
Roll Dolo. Thursdays & Saturdays. Suit Up, Show Up. But of course be agile, sometimes the week calls for more artillery (like Monday summer nights at Catch). So having several different hard hitting combinations certainly cannot hurt. I always keep a Light gray silk linen suit on standby, single breasted peaked lapels, sea blue shirt and a coral E.Marinella in the pocket. Paired up with suede Summer Walks…..cannot go wrong.
The most important thing is momentum. Nothing kills flow more than slow speed and bad logistics (another benefit of Rolling Dolo). Which is why I will happily cover Ubers / drinks. Charge it to the game. Imagine getting stuck at the bar waiting to scan a digital menu to order through an app (nonsense when you have a Bankroll). Or trying to flag a cab for 10 minutes. You have to keep the brain synapse constantly sparked. Having a driver here is also a great pitch (ie your friend dressed in a chauffeur outfit).
Truths
After going out a bunch, you’ll realize that many people in the nightlife scene can be low quality and not worth the connect. One way to solve this is finding people during your day activities (while sober) and simply invite them out at night. There are a couple dope biz owners I roll with occasionally. Some I met through pure luck but others in scenarios where positioning certainly helped (LINK). With more people hanging exclusively in groups combined with the inability to be alone, it would be wise to get comfortable Rolling Dolo, like Tony without Manolo.
You will also get questioned a ton. Like it's abnormal to be a sharply dressed gentleman. No wonder the country is in shambles. No need to play defense in these instances. Let the room adjust to you and let your custom suits from Milan do the talking. Many times girls are just looking for any reason to talk to you and don’t know what to say.
Here is another good one from the summer:
I was tagging along with this local pharmacist I know (not a Street Pharmacist in case you were wondering) and his crew who happen to also be degens. One of the guys recognized me as the “well dressed artistic kid with a nice suit” since he saw me at this lounge I had visited the week prior. Turns out he was the owner. Told me to come again and fast tracked VIP status. Bless up Slime.
Later that night, fly girl flags me down and compliments my suit. It really is the gift that keeps on giving. We’re chatting a bit and Pharmacist swings by to give me a warm intro (they skied together in Vail last winter). Says she runs her own e-commerce shop and would be a good contact to know…….I did try to keep this one professional for as long as I could. I swear…….Assist by Pharmacist.
Myths
It’s not completely fairytales out here. When you walk around with Cashmere Confidence and Iron Swagger, you get your fair share of hate. Relax, it’s a sign you’re doing something right. Plus it’s mostly from guys that dress like homose<uals from the 90s (ie tight t-shirts, designer jeans etc) – not to confuse you with the current day homose>uals in crop tops and dresses. I always loved when dorks say “I'm gay or trying too hard" for dressing too well. But then I wonder, don’t these out-of-shape and balding, cubicle monkeys with progressively fattening girlfriends have bigger issues to deal with than my wardrobe?..........Questions for Plato...........
Many people doubt the things we talk about here but of course you should pay them no attention because they have virtually negative style. Poetic. Always guys who don't have a rack of fly custom suits at home or the guts to Roll Dolo that have the most to say. Easy to talk big game when you’re not even in the game.
Haters
There are also occasions (rare, though occasions nonetheless) where you encounter jealous Soy Wif Femboys that attempt to piece you up in the physical realm. But of course you play it like Sugar Ray Robinson (before the first retirement) when the heat is on and you are in the pocket: mad calm and with precision counters. Think of it as practice to keep those reaction times sharp.
Here’s what could look like in the field.
I’m minding my business, sipping a G&T and explaining to my friend why Fahrenheit is infinitely better than Celsius (she is an artist from Italy). When suddenly soyboy and his two buddies roll up to our table (aka Manlet Task Force).
Very cordial at first with handshakes and compliments all around. But after about 20 seconds I realize I am talking to soy and my attention span turns ADHD. I get pulled back in when Lead Manlet starts touching the suit and feeling up the lapels. You could tell he was hating when he took my Pocket Square for some random girl to use as a tissue (not even Chad Slime would use Brioni for tissues).
Obviously the only respectable response is to Swoop back my square and that girl. Checkmate. Sorry pal, no matter how many times you look this way there’s no way you can reverse those last 120 seconds. Thanks for playing. Toe tagged. Bodied.
Note: I am generally a very peaceful cartoon. And smart enough to never throw down in the street. But disrespect is never taken lightly in the Animal Kingdom. Why would you ever taunt a Dragon? That is brazy. (P.S. Dragons are real. Just ask Nietzsche).
Language lessons
Aside from more fluid travelling and getting real traction as an International Cartoon. There’s another reason why I advocate for learning multiple languages: You can detect bullsh*t faster. Plus it doesn't hurt knowing how to say “Want come over and see my CryptoPunks” (plural Ladies) in 6 different languages.
So I’m at my friend’s lounge when I meet these three girls visiting from Japan. This was around the time we were hosting the Ladies & Tanks spaces, so I was on my cell sending memes to the Clown Group Chat. They were standing nearby when one of them bumped into me and asked what I was reading (I was thinking to myself, “That is usually my line!”). I tell her it's just my internet friends and start showing off The Best LockScreen Background ever created. Call it the Cartoon Swoop. IYKYK.
Then this actor guy I know appears from the tall grass and starts speaking to them in what I can only assume is Japanese. I feel slightly off balance here as I am the only one out of the loop. Can’t speak it. But I’m getting a couple sound bites. And dude is scaring the huzz. Telling them I’m a Clownbanker from “Coldaman Sacksah”, a big party guy and some other red flags etc etc. Gentleman, this is your competition. And Ladies, I totally feel for you. (Sometimes all it takes is 3 fly Japanese girls to reveal one’s true colors. Glad I found out sooner than later.)
At this point, the fly girls are bored and started getting dryer than 🐱, which, of course, is not lost on me. Also, what is not lost on me are the multiple attempts to move to his table. Which, of course, I stay put at my spot at the bar. Playing the Right Level of Dumb here.
Anyway I suggest we bounce to one of my bases of operation. Car’s already waiting. Actor guy meets us there. What ensues over the next 35 minutes is what I may say is the most perfectly timed combination of counterpunches I have ever landed (not bragging, just keeping it straight up like cryptographic internet coins for you). We are getting greetings by the staff, free drinks and I am shooting shot for shot with these Hokkaido skiing stories. Weesh actor bows out around minute 14, give or take, to settle for karaoke next door. Meanwhile, I am back home in a robe asking which flavor of ramen we should make (I recently went to a dinner for one of their birthdays actually and she still brings that night up lol). He couldn’t see me coming like Stevie. So, it was no Wonder, the Cartoons take home another Win for the team.
Things I would do different
1. Thicker Bankrolls. You never want to get involved in any maneuver undercapitalized. Having a ton of cash on-person means people react better towards you and you feel better. Things move much faster when you can easily throw down a $20 USTT tip and bounce. You’re not stuck at the bar waiting for your tab to close. Your get-aways are quick. Plus Bankroll Game is timeless. You can get a decently good “roll” with $500 USTT (400x $1 USTT bills and a C-Note on the outside if you are diabolical) and rarely will you ever need $3,000+ USTT in one instance. Cash wins for dates and parties.
That reminds me, if you’re BowTied, tip 33%+ and call it. No need to be cheap, just round to the nearest dollar or ten. I am not carrying coins or calculating a $7.53 tip or asking people to Venmo me $4.73 for a slice of pizza (yes this one actually happened to me). That's how you suck at life. It is also cheaper in the long run since they start giving you free drinks, you cut the line etc etc.
When you’re rolling in a 2 button light gray Prada with ticket pocket, shirt by Thomas Pink, white gold and baby blue custom pocket square (don’t even look for this one, my lady had it made for me). Gucci loafers..…total cost a steal at under $5000.00. But then you only have two C-Notes in your pocket. It looks a bit off.
2. Better Venues. “Any high quality restaurant with a bar area is probably the best place to spend your time. You can take dates there without having any sort of awkward pauses as the environment is noisy and it’s a lot easier to make sure you get a seat. Having the staff know who you are adds something like 100x to your ability to gain interest from anyone new you bring. This is a clear signal since you’re taking someone to a high quality place yet they now know it’s a normal occurrence for you.” – WallStreetPlayboys
Said another way, you want to be hanging at the high-end joints cause that’s where the fly girls are. How many of your guy friends hang out in High-End Restaurants? Exactly. Practically none. A friend of mine runs a nightclub and I always tell him to raise their prices. Higher cover. Higher drinks. Add a bathroom fee. Just charge me more. The more expensive the place, the better the ratio. Screencap it.
(Autist Note: If it’s your first time going to a nice restaurant, try this. Bring two cases of beers, head straight for the kitchen and drop them off at the pass, “Hey chefs this is for you guys tonight. Enjoy.” Don’t be surprised if you get a few extra things sent your way on the house. Not to mention your date’s reaction to your bold gesture…… Bringing alcohol for the chefs. IYKYK. Classic move. Very similar to getting a round of beers for all the chefs at a sushi bar when you first sit down. Same same but different)
There’s this other place I like a lot and it’s got a great crowd. But I refuse to pop 7 bottles each time and split the bill 9 ways. The House here really takes care of paying customers (understandably so). But again I will simply not be entertaining bottle service. My friend has this place On Lock and I am a little jealous (maybe more than I am willing to admit).
Second Side Note: Surprisingly, I don’t drink any more (but I don’t drink any less). But if drinking is definitely not your thing, club sodas conveniently happen to look a lot like G&Ts. Plus nobody is paying attention to you after the first 10 minutes anyway. No one really cares about you much at all. Not in a malicious way or anything, they just don’t care. They’re too busy focusing on themselves.
Third Side Note: If one knew that a bottle of Spanish Red would be more welcoming than Grey Goose at nightclubs, what beverage would one order? Please advise. I’m not Mexican but my Game hits hard like Chávez. Or who knows it could have something to do with the $2500.00 Two button Maroon Zegna I was wearing.
The current state and overall experience
Improving. The good news is I am seeing more suits out and about (though not at airports sadly). And many times its guys looking to take life more seriously and start leveling up across all the major pillars (health, relationships and money). The bad news, they are usually off the rack or ill fitting. That’s alright, one step at a time. The self-aware few will take advantage of every good opportunity to improve. And those still trying to “make it” to Managing Director at Clownman Sachs, will get steamrolled by Cartoons with real muscle density. There is no saving them.
To this day my media presence remains Zero (not filming my entire night on the soyPhones). No need to remind you that “fame is just harassment from regular people” which sounds ironic after talking about standing out with Custom Italian Suits. But I mean instinctually avoiding all cameras outside like the plague. You get the point. I am not about to pop up on the venue’s social page on a feature (Unless its with Travis Scott, SAINt JHN, or Gunna. And demos tapes stay in the vault).
While this has been fun, I do think I am still a couple years away from peak suit game. Plus I look young. The venues I’ll go to will probably change too (for the better of course) but this was a great test-run.
General Clothing Commentary
Here’s a good point to pause and remind everyone that this POV is from someone who enjoys nightlife in a major city like New York, Dallas, Hong Kong or Miami. In cities like these, rolling custom suited down pays for itself almost every night and then some. The perks of International Swagger. You don’t really need a suit if you’re skiing all day in the Swiss Alps or by the beach 24/7 (unless you’re at the Turf Club). But that’s for you to decide.
Your patterns and colors will depend on what personality you have and if you’re going for a loud VS quiet vibe. If you’re naturally more introverted (like your humble author) you probably don’t want to be rocking bright orange even if it pairs well with your skin tone. It clashes with the rest of your image and throws the entire image “off” a bit. If you find solid colors too boring, try a subtle pattern with unique accent colors (Purple Pinstripes on Light Gray for instance). Here are some other tasteful patterns by Masion Hellard. French.
“Find your style, which is that which you feel comfortable with, not someone else’s. Then turn the volume up a little on the things that make you “you,” whether it is yellow socks or bright green oversize glasses. Then you’ll have your own style. And no matter what you rock you’ll feel confident and thus look amazing.” – Duncan Quinn
I have read it many times before and I will repeat it here, Style is about consistency, and not just one fly outfit or one dope IG post. You’ll know your Style Game is on lockdown when you naturally get compliments from women the majority of the time (okay I actually mean all the time). It usually starts as eye contact followed by the compliments followed by stares. Anytime you see a beautiful woman start eyeing you down head to toe, just don’t get distracted and fall Behind Enemy Lines.……….It ain’t hard to tell……….
And as a rule of thumb, you should feel *physically* different when you are Custom Suited Down. Like you’re the King or you don’t care who the King is. So if you haven’t worn something in over a year because you’re not feeling the razor-sharp zip, it’s probably time to rotate that piece out. Life’s too short for weesh moves. Plus who else has the honor of passing down dope Custom Threads to your younger relatives?
Concluding Thoughts
At the end of the day, being *in shape* with a made to measure suit is 95% of it. Which of course is a huge status symbol as you get older. It’s fun to dress fly, work out and win in life. Which makes you want to do it again and again and again. A classic vicious cycle. So what about you guys? How do you roll suited down? Favorite combinations? Please chime in.
“When someone starts getting into suits and watches, it’s a tell that they are really focused on dating.” – Wall Street Playboys
Now while it has been fun, my tunnel out of Shawshank ain’t gonna dig itself. Getting an exit remains my priority. Outranks any fly suit I have (and I have many). If done intelligently, all you need is One to set yourself up for life.…….2026 has already been an Amazing Year. Looking forward to 2027. Just Gonna Keep it Low Profile.
What if an anonymous cartoon penguin on X (formerly known as "Twitter") told you all you had to do was Dress Razor Sharp, Carry Big Bankrolls and Display Mad Language Game?
The Rest is Up to You…
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Appreciate BTB for the opportunity to write here. Hope you were all entertained by a stop motion penguin roleplaying a deranged writer (good thing). Thank you to Michael Porfirio Mason in the 0.000001% chance he sees this. There was an insane amount of knowledge dropped back in the day and although I was only like 5 when it came out, I learned a ton from this Anon. Not to mention all the laughs. Never forgot the laughs. Cheers to theGManifesto.
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Cartoon Stylist at your Service
When your outfits are easily $2,xxx USTT, spending the extra 5% to make sure you get it right is a no brainer. You want to make sure you’re happy with what you get, not to mention avoid thousand dollar mistakes (like opting for patch pockets on your Burgundy evening dinner jacket). If you’re new to the suit game or are leveling up and want a second pair of eyes, please don’t hesitate to reach out. Let me know what I can do for you! Just a heads up, I will be asking a ton of questions.
You may reach the cartoon penguin via email (BowTiedPingu @ proton.me) or on X (formerly known as "Twitter"). My Carrd link here: Source
LINK
$200 USTT. 300 Cartoons. NYC. You In?
Don’t think. Just Porsche. Twas…..
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