Relationships/Kids in America - the Future
Level 2 - Value Investor
Welcome Avatar! We’ve officially become annoyed at all the worthless questions about dating, kids etc on the Instagram lifestyle questions. This is going to be the end all be all post so we never have to write about it again. All your questions related to this are just going to redirect here. Not going to open to comments and not going to debate as this has been solved over a decade ago.
Lets go!
Part 1: Ball is in Your Court - Basics
We don’t care if you want kids or not. If you want them great. If you don’t also great. None of our business. It is a personal life decision we’re not involved in. Also. You shouldn’t care about the opinion of some cartoon internet bull about this matter if you’re serious about having kids (or not).
Assume - No Kids: In this case, you have nothing to plan for. If you have no interest in kids, never ever get married. The probability of success is already 50/50 in America and with no shared/common goal it would plummet. There is no point in tying your life/finances with someone without a family plan. This is extremely logical. You can do what you want but that part ends here. If you don’t want kids, then simply don’t worry about anything ever again. Party have fun, live your life and don’t get the State involved in your life.
You Want Kids: If this is the case the formula is already solved: 1) foreign girl, 2) rich family and 3) large chunk of your assets will not be held in your name. You can see how divorces work right here (source)
We’re not going to waste time hearing about other ideas on this matter. If your plan is to have kids, unless you plan on being a dead beat dad the only thing you will care about is: 1) health, 2) success and 3) stability of your kids. Your life ends their life begins.
Under that basic human assumption (unless you’re a garbage human), it means you want to set your kids up for the highest probability of success. Here are some basic rough facts.
Probability of success between American born + Foreigner is ~75% (56/76). Read that again. 75%. The American to American rate is ~45% roughly (30/67). This is enormous.
If you marry a foreigner who is from money, the chances of financial ruin plummet. While a foreigner might not be “rich” in US terms, Rich in foreign terms is not a $100,000 in debt psychology major who think she’s bright because she went to Carnegie Mellon
Even with all these things tied together, you will want a Generational Skipping Trust, assets owned by someone else and other *failure proof* set ups in case things go downhill. This is simply insurance. If you are successful and can create wealth easily, you launch a few assets under a family member name that never has a single percentage point or any touch point to prove you own anything. This way the asset goes directly from trust to kids or held by the family member. Simple
Emphasis, anything not owned in your name cannot be taken. If you can’t read between the lines here, probably not bright enough to land the rich foreign girl anyway
Part 2: How to Do This
If you plan on going down this path, you have to make some basic assumptions and adjust your life accordingly. Here are some specific ones.
You should not go for any girl age range 18-22. This is obvious. In this age bracket they have unlikely worked a day in their life and still have Disney Fairytales about how life is supposed to turn out. They all think the world is sunshine and roses and Mr. Right just shows up even though the person is in the 0.001% that they are searching for.
Generally around 24-26 is when they’ve seen enough to realize what the dating pool is like. If you’re successful you’ll notice this group instantly recognizes how valuable you are even on the first date. We’re not going to go down the whole age gap thing, just know that in an ideal situation around age 24-25 is when reality sets in for everyone
Majority of guys lie to themselves and claim they want all these checklist items. Reality from what we’ve seen the majority are going to be thrilled under two simple items: 1) more physically attractive than they are and 2) not a financial burden on them
Sounds transactional? Sure whatever. Women also filter men for height, wealth etc. This is normal stuff. 99% of men would be thrilled if the girl is much more attractive than they normally can get and isn’t a financial disaster. Sorry just reality
Since we have no idea who you are, you have to decide what look is ideal. Then you’d learn that language/culture and get the ball rolling. Unsurprisingly to be able to pull all this off you’re probably at least 30 years old. When you have real money to spend
Slow exit the standard hook up culture. You already know this if you’ve lived it. Going out 2-3x a week, group or solo, hook up repeat. This isn’t going to work for a rich foreign girl. You are shooting yourself in the face (not even the foot)
Easy way to tell is if the girl is grossed out by constant hooking up and later on, if her parents are grossed out by you. If her parents are not grossed out by you, it means they are not from a rich family. Rich families don’t want some passport bro reputation. If you can prove you are ultra successful the tune changes instantly, but there is a burden of proof on your side
Stop looking for unicorns. Successful guys and attractive girls all look for perfect unicorns. They don’t exist. You will always dislike something about someone. Instead just do a review of all your happy wealthy friends that decided to have kids and it’ll be the same. The two major pillars are much better looking than you and not a financial burden. After that it’s individualistic and based on personality traits you want. If you’re a sports person maybe she needs to play tennis. If you’re an artsy person, maybe she needs to play the piano. Who knows. This is up to you to solve
The grass is always greener. If you are actually quite successful you will *NEVER* worry about dating for the rest of your life. In the real world, ultra successful men are forced to make sacrifices for the benefit of the unit. Hint: that means if you don’t want kids we’re laughing extremely hard at you. You’ll break as soon as you realize you can go back to partying after some major fight. Having expectations that anyone will touch you in the top 1% wealth is asinine
Summary: If you’re 100% sure you want kids this is the jist: 1) foreign, 2) rich, 3) know that you will be giving up more than her - always the case, 4) unless a deadbeat, you’ll want the best for your kids not you and 5) don’t delude yourself into thinking that there is a unicorn for your 99/100 checkpoint list. You can add a couple things beyond more attractive and well off, but it can’t be a 7 year old’s Christmas list to Santa
Part 3: Rapid Fire Meaningless Questions We Get
“Why Rich Bro”: Already explained. If you plan on having kids, unless you are a complete loser you want the best for your kids. Your life ends their life begins.
This means if something happens to you (car crash, etc.). You want them to be set. You don’t want to be in a hospital bed dying wondering “are my kids going to be fine”
Why Not American: This has been a dead idea for years. The problem is the USA is ultra competitive and entitled. It’s the culture for decades and you can’t undo that programming. Probabilities are not in your favor (see prior comments) and on top of that it is actually harder to find. Don’t bother us with your “I do fine in the USA” comments. We already know that game. There is no reality in which American women are more attractive than rich foreign girls. If you don’t believe this we know two things for sure about you: 1) you’ve never learned a new language and have no right to an opinion and 2) you’ve unlikely visited more than the boring Cancun/West Europe/Canada circuit.
Once again, it’s all cope. America is great for partying and having fun. No more than that. (Don’t get it twisted, it’s by far the most fun since all you need to do is be decent looking drink and be funny)
What About Failure? As stated, any time you enter into such a long-term commitment there is failure rate. It’s up to you to minimize them the best you can. This is the blueprint and the set up but it does not guarantee success. That is how life works.
Every business you start is not going to have a 100% success rate. This is the same stuff.
Just don’t get destroyed by it and have a plan for 1) kids being fine and 2) you being fine financially if SHTF badly.
Quick Note on Direction
If you feel “transactional” that’s great, you’re just immature.
Over a 20-30 year planning period you need to optimize for what is best for you, your kids and the family unit. Not based on what girl is super hot today. Majority of people (99%) get worse with time. Therefore, assume the worst and hope for the best.
Don’t plan for fairy tales and hope it works out.
America is now a rich vs. poor country with no middle class. You’re going to see this play out more and more. You’ll see attractive men dating down hard for financial reasons. You’ll see larger age gaps for rich men. You’ll see a large chunk of the population outcasted.
This is reality, so either adapt or die anon..
Completed and done. Wrote this up quickly and this is the end all be all of it. All question related to this solved problem will be redirected here in the future.
Party have fun, hook up, enjoy life etc. Just don’t get locked down to American disaster system.
Even Trump figured this out later in life.
Good luck and back to the tent.
Disclaimer: None of this is to be deemed legal or financial advice of any kind. These are *opinions* written by an anonymous group of Ex-Wall Street Tech Bankers and software engineers who moved into affiliate marketing and e-commerce.
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