Good post. I'm interested to hear more about the logistical details of how their parents managed homeschooling in conjunction with other responsibilities like employment. This is the number one thing preventing me from homeschooling - we both have significant work commitments. I see that in the BTB notes you mention that homeschooling is not feasible for all, but it'd be nice to know more about how these guys parents were able to make it happen.
I know a few working parents who take 2-3 days a week to work while their kids are at forest school. In other families, one parent is completely dedicated to raising the kids, pausing their career and surprisingly, they never look back.
Really good, really involved helpful article. I've been considering for a long time about the idea of homeschooling being a necessary component of any children I raise with a future wife.
That said I still am worried about the social aspect even with the pods you can usually tell if someone is homeschooled by their difficulty of fitting in with social strata of their same age group or dealing with the general anti intellectualism featuring and common to growing up in a mixed environment.
Also a tell for homeschoolers is that they use 100 dollar words all the time instead of more precise simpler prose.
Compare Scott Young's articles (any of them, they are so good for simply conveying ideas and information) for example to this one. Which has a lot of jargon which favours a certain kind of neurodivergent mindset
No emotion it's just something to remember and take into account that homeschooled kids do not come without costs and that should be taken into account.
How many non hereditary top 0.1% talents were homeschooled? Is something worth thinking about
Ha! Did notice the more elaborate vocabulary, would have never used those words growing up that's for sure.
There is a downside to everything, think working backwards is good.
Also the counter argument is why does it matter if you don't fit in with people you'll never really interact with in the future. Doesn't make sense. Have no interest in talking to people from the hometown any time soon.
Not being able to communicate and blend in when needed is a critical failing in terms of survival strategies. Khmer rouge, mongol invasion of khwarezmia etc. Showing off a watch in a mixed area = not being able to verbally blend in when needed in a mixed area. Ironically smile and nod will help. Maybe not even smile
My apologies at missing this question my fine scaled friend. TLDR, People get hung up on which course to use. (This is somewhat akin to asking, “where should I invest” The answer depends on the situation/kid etc.)
It’s why the “this is the only way to homeschool” makes little sense. The course is less relevant than the parents grasp of truth, self discipline, self awareness, quality of home life, and the example set by the parents.
What is the desired outcome for the child? Work back from there. Ask yourself, “what does my child need to become the best version of themselves?”
Activate Awareness/Curiosity to learning > Direct to truth > Build Virtue (self awareness) and keep adding tools/resources/environments that build this as the culture of the family.
Can't overemphasize the value of the Read Aloud Revival Podcast
> >> Alot of responsibility
It is alot of responsibility. It’s radical acceptance of parenting. The responsibility always rests with the parent, it’s just that many parents attempt to outsource. Some think that the outsourcing will result in the best outcome for the child… while some see as convenient daycare (but jump all sorts of mental hurdles to convince themselves its best for the child)
(Most school is daycare + job prep + social engineering to paraphrase Naval. (with its roots in Prussian military indoctrination techniques.)
Homeschooling is parenting on steroids. We see education is the pursuit of Truth (that which is) and virtue (alignment to that which is). This takes self awareness (which we have fallen down on numerous times. To quote Feynman “"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool.”)
Parenting is getting a child to develop a passion for truth, virtue, knowing their gifts, and giving them the resources to max their character out.
>Requires alot of advance planning.
We made the decision to homeschool after getting a tour of an “elite” blue ribbon school our child was supposed to attend. We were repulsed at what we saw. Wife and I didn’t do alot of advance planning. Though this is a bit misleading. We both loved reading, studying new things on our own and had strong appreciation for classical education. We (mostly her for the early years) started with a basic course to teach subjects and then kept leaning into getting better. What we do now is the natural evolution of what we did then.
The emphasis is on the basics at the early ages with a ton of read alouds to kickstart the love of learning. If you focus on reading aloud good books then kids associate reading with “passing through the wardrobe” into any world of their choosing.
Rather than them focus on the kid reading absurd kid readers which gets kids to associate reading with getting hit in the brain with a brick. (low IQ material.
>>> The well trained mind
I have not. The Mrs. has read much of it. It’s strong on the classical front. Wife is fan of anything she’s written. Her book “Story of the world” is great for kids to teach them history. History of the Ancient periods is the version for older kids
(Though she is protestant and her recounting of history in regards to catholicism can be described as slanted anti-Catholic with less intellectual congruity than say… the Summa. Though this offers a great opportunity to walk kids through exercises in logic and biases.)
Note: The narrater Jim Weiss is a killer. Kids love it. His content is solid for activating kids imagination. (The Well Trained Mind Press)
You might also check out IEW (Institute for Excellence in Writing) Andrew is a riot and our children find him fun to “spar” with.
A word of warning. Smart people run the risk of freaking themselves out on the responsibiltes involved with parenting/education. They’ll be too smart by half and try to compensate with never ending books, courses etc. (or if well heeled a nice private school + tutor to avoid the mental/emotional friction of being wrong or having to engage)
Start by reading to the child with energy, make it exciting/fun. Give them puzzles and games to play with. Teach them things with games and life rather than lectures. Give them the basic skills (Reading, Writing, Arithmetic, Religion, Logic), love of learning, a framework for learning things and there's no stopping them.
Note from Mrs: Listen to Read Aloud Revival Podcast... lol
For me, one if the biggest reasons we homeschool is that it is an easy solution to Bloom's 2 sigma problem: when average students get regular 1:1 tutoring and are forced to master a subject before moving on, they perform 2 standardized deviations better.
That kind of learning environment is easy to provide with homeschooling and hard to provide with traditional schooling.
So far, my 3 kids who are old enough to be required to take standardized tests in our state score in the 99th percentile for their age groups.
Really good article, and glad this is getting some traction. My wife and i moved my son from Public school to a a Hybrid (University) model homeschooling set up last year. Its been a huge improvement and we've seen many of the benefits you explained so well. I hope we can succeed at this as well as your parents clearly did.
One of the unmentioned benefits of the hybrid model, and homeschooling in general, is the quality of the families, and hence children, that your child socialises with. You don't get to pick who your kids are with a Public school with the obvious downside. In reality private school is not much better. There's plenty of wealthy parents who are too busy to raise their kids but can throw money at the problem. End up with a group of brats who have never taken responsibility and don't need to. In the Hybrid model the parents are hyper involved, and giving up a salary to homeschool. They're putting in the work and sacrificing for the kid. It shows in behaviour and the work effort instilled. That's what I want my kids around.
They're not old enough for university yet. The Hybrid model is sometimes refered to as the University model due to scheduling similarities.
It hasn't affected socializing. Our program has about 12 kids per class and 2 to 3 classes per age group. Plenty of kids to socialise with. We're also very intentional with after school and mid week playdates. Seen no difference in this aspect relative to his time in public school.
- So who was involved in homeschooling? Mom or dad? How many hours would you study? What was the routine like?
- how did they deal with creating a structure ? Organizing homeworks, lessons, final exams etc? 📚📝 Children typically don't respect they see someone at home everyday. Curious how they tacked that.
- how did your parents/ deal with getting up late or not doing your homework?
Adding this one here above as it may be useful for curriculum development for maths
(+ some commentary and a call to action re UK homeschooling / other options)
from memory other homeschooling accounts in the jungle (on twitter) would be @bowtiedQueenBee (https://bowtiedqueenbee.substack.com/) and @bowtiedreverend
This is awesome stuff, very rich. Timely as well, as I'm considering home/unschooling for our children. Definitely not the kind of content (topic-wise) that I expect on BTB, but super grateful for it!
Great read, thank you for sharing your personal journey! I enjoyed it and would like to add something that I think is very important. Regardless of a child’s age, it’s challenging for parents to cultivate strong character in their kids if they don’t serve as role models themselves. While it might take years to develop these traits in isolation (as it did for me), it can happen more quickly with guidance (as I do with my clients I couch). I’m still learning and will continue to do so for the rest of my life, and I’m happy to homeschool my kids and keep growing alongside them. It’s important not just to raise your kids but to grow alongside them. Life is a lifelong learning journey, and children will greatly benefit if parents commit to upholding higher standards and exemplifying excellence.
The short answer is: it depends. It depends on factors like the age of your child, the established family dynamics, your current relationship with them, etc.
Without knowing the specifics, I’d recommend practicing empathic listening, especially if your kids are older. Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People covers this in detail. The whole book is worth reading but if you just want a quick answer to your question - go to the section called 'Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.' He covers your question between pages 281 and 297 in my 2020 edition.
With my own kids, I focus on guiding rather than lecturing. I ask open-ended questions and encourage them to think through situations themselves, even if their conclusions differ from what I might prefer. This approach, inspired by Alfie Kohn’s Unconditional Parenting didn't come to me naturally at all... But when emotions subside, there's a clear value of the thought process over the outcome. It’s not always easy, but the long-term benefits are well worth the effort.
Finally, to coach effectively without lecturing (kids, employees, whoever), lead by example. As I mentioned earlier, strengthening your own character and behavior naturally increases your influence. Your actions will speak louder than words, and your integrity will set the standard for your kids.
I was homeschooled up until going to a public high school (to play sports). It was a weird 6 month adjustment but graduated as 'most popular'. I know sick brag. I only mention that to say, the social integration is easily achievable if parents are intentional in involving kids in other activities.
I'm eager to dig more deeply into this article and share it with my homeschooled kids. One comment: California is an incredibly great state to homeschool in. It's far easier here than most states.
Having 3 kids, all of them in schooling ages, and seeing how dysfunctional and bored they are at public schools (even in a good area), this is a whole new world to explore.
Montessori might work, but I’m skeptical about Waldorf in North America for several reasons:
1. They keep children in school until 3pm, even in the earlier grades.
2. Association of Waldorf Schools of North America is the certifying body for all American schools. Unless you’re elsewhere, AWSNA promotes ultra-left ideologies by rewriting books and curricula. Schools either comply or lose certification. Depending on where you stand on this, just know that 'Waldorf-inspired' education these days likely means the school is not certified, probably because they don’t align with AWSNA, and they are likely following a more traditional curriculum. Europe and other regions are different; this issue is specific to North America.
Good post. I'm interested to hear more about the logistical details of how their parents managed homeschooling in conjunction with other responsibilities like employment. This is the number one thing preventing me from homeschooling - we both have significant work commitments. I see that in the BTB notes you mention that homeschooling is not feasible for all, but it'd be nice to know more about how these guys parents were able to make it happen.
I know a few working parents who take 2-3 days a week to work while their kids are at forest school. In other families, one parent is completely dedicated to raising the kids, pausing their career and surprisingly, they never look back.
Really good, really involved helpful article. I've been considering for a long time about the idea of homeschooling being a necessary component of any children I raise with a future wife.
That said I still am worried about the social aspect even with the pods you can usually tell if someone is homeschooled by their difficulty of fitting in with social strata of their same age group or dealing with the general anti intellectualism featuring and common to growing up in a mixed environment.
Also a tell for homeschoolers is that they use 100 dollar words all the time instead of more precise simpler prose.
Compare Scott Young's articles (any of them, they are so good for simply conveying ideas and information) for example to this one. Which has a lot of jargon which favours a certain kind of neurodivergent mindset
No emotion it's just something to remember and take into account that homeschooled kids do not come without costs and that should be taken into account.
How many non hereditary top 0.1% talents were homeschooled? Is something worth thinking about
Ha! Did notice the more elaborate vocabulary, would have never used those words growing up that's for sure.
There is a downside to everything, think working backwards is good.
Also the counter argument is why does it matter if you don't fit in with people you'll never really interact with in the future. Doesn't make sense. Have no interest in talking to people from the hometown any time soon.
Not being able to communicate and blend in when needed is a critical failing in terms of survival strategies. Khmer rouge, mongol invasion of khwarezmia etc. Showing off a watch in a mixed area = not being able to verbally blend in when needed in a mixed area. Ironically smile and nod will help. Maybe not even smile
Pretty sure this can easily be taught though, don't think this one is too hard
Social skills can be learned, even late into adulthood if needed; whereas indoctrination/conformity to peer group is often forever.
Never understood this argument against homeschooling either
how would you recommend?
We’ve homeschooled for years and y’all nailed it. Great work. Love to see the habits/skills being deployed to conquer new interests.
You’re both a great example of well homeschooled success stories.
This responsibility seems to require a lot of advance planning.
My research started with Jessie Wise "The Well Trained Mind" (4. ed) - have you come across it? Comments/pitfalls?
My apologies at missing this question my fine scaled friend. TLDR, People get hung up on which course to use. (This is somewhat akin to asking, “where should I invest” The answer depends on the situation/kid etc.)
It’s why the “this is the only way to homeschool” makes little sense. The course is less relevant than the parents grasp of truth, self discipline, self awareness, quality of home life, and the example set by the parents.
What is the desired outcome for the child? Work back from there. Ask yourself, “what does my child need to become the best version of themselves?”
Activate Awareness/Curiosity to learning > Direct to truth > Build Virtue (self awareness) and keep adding tools/resources/environments that build this as the culture of the family.
Can't overemphasize the value of the Read Aloud Revival Podcast
> >> Alot of responsibility
It is alot of responsibility. It’s radical acceptance of parenting. The responsibility always rests with the parent, it’s just that many parents attempt to outsource. Some think that the outsourcing will result in the best outcome for the child… while some see as convenient daycare (but jump all sorts of mental hurdles to convince themselves its best for the child)
(Most school is daycare + job prep + social engineering to paraphrase Naval. (with its roots in Prussian military indoctrination techniques.)
Homeschooling is parenting on steroids. We see education is the pursuit of Truth (that which is) and virtue (alignment to that which is). This takes self awareness (which we have fallen down on numerous times. To quote Feynman “"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person to fool.”)
Parenting is getting a child to develop a passion for truth, virtue, knowing their gifts, and giving them the resources to max their character out.
>Requires alot of advance planning.
We made the decision to homeschool after getting a tour of an “elite” blue ribbon school our child was supposed to attend. We were repulsed at what we saw. Wife and I didn’t do alot of advance planning. Though this is a bit misleading. We both loved reading, studying new things on our own and had strong appreciation for classical education. We (mostly her for the early years) started with a basic course to teach subjects and then kept leaning into getting better. What we do now is the natural evolution of what we did then.
We do what some might call a combination of teaching the love of reading, classical education, unschooling, and apprenticeships (Here are some ideas as generated by Venice for how that looks at the bottom - https://venice.ai/chat/c347b0df-ea0a-4ba6-9843-65014648e22c#veniceShareKey=uvWBqEcjbHAnExEJfBDAqArOWSDf6H4BTok88xNgCtE%3D&veniceShareNonce=PLzdN2o0orgYQ1FeZIcqnQ4Lay%2FfD99i&ref=gaa8FV)
The emphasis is on the basics at the early ages with a ton of read alouds to kickstart the love of learning. If you focus on reading aloud good books then kids associate reading with “passing through the wardrobe” into any world of their choosing.
Rather than them focus on the kid reading absurd kid readers which gets kids to associate reading with getting hit in the brain with a brick. (low IQ material.
>>> The well trained mind
I have not. The Mrs. has read much of it. It’s strong on the classical front. Wife is fan of anything she’s written. Her book “Story of the world” is great for kids to teach them history. History of the Ancient periods is the version for older kids
(Though she is protestant and her recounting of history in regards to catholicism can be described as slanted anti-Catholic with less intellectual congruity than say… the Summa. Though this offers a great opportunity to walk kids through exercises in logic and biases.)
Note: The narrater Jim Weiss is a killer. Kids love it. His content is solid for activating kids imagination. (The Well Trained Mind Press)
You might also check out IEW (Institute for Excellence in Writing) Andrew is a riot and our children find him fun to “spar” with.
A word of warning. Smart people run the risk of freaking themselves out on the responsibiltes involved with parenting/education. They’ll be too smart by half and try to compensate with never ending books, courses etc. (or if well heeled a nice private school + tutor to avoid the mental/emotional friction of being wrong or having to engage)
Start by reading to the child with energy, make it exciting/fun. Give them puzzles and games to play with. Teach them things with games and life rather than lectures. Give them the basic skills (Reading, Writing, Arithmetic, Religion, Logic), love of learning, a framework for learning things and there's no stopping them.
Note from Mrs: Listen to Read Aloud Revival Podcast... lol
For me, one if the biggest reasons we homeschool is that it is an easy solution to Bloom's 2 sigma problem: when average students get regular 1:1 tutoring and are forced to master a subject before moving on, they perform 2 standardized deviations better.
That kind of learning environment is easy to provide with homeschooling and hard to provide with traditional schooling.
So far, my 3 kids who are old enough to be required to take standardized tests in our state score in the 99th percentile for their age groups.
No exam prep other than how to fill in the circles with a No. 2 pencil.
Really good article, and glad this is getting some traction. My wife and i moved my son from Public school to a a Hybrid (University) model homeschooling set up last year. Its been a huge improvement and we've seen many of the benefits you explained so well. I hope we can succeed at this as well as your parents clearly did.
One of the unmentioned benefits of the hybrid model, and homeschooling in general, is the quality of the families, and hence children, that your child socialises with. You don't get to pick who your kids are with a Public school with the obvious downside. In reality private school is not much better. There's plenty of wealthy parents who are too busy to raise their kids but can throw money at the problem. End up with a group of brats who have never taken responsibility and don't need to. In the Hybrid model the parents are hyper involved, and giving up a salary to homeschool. They're putting in the work and sacrificing for the kid. It shows in behaviour and the work effort instilled. That's what I want my kids around.
you got your kid into a university? did it affect how they socialized with people their own age?
They're not old enough for university yet. The Hybrid model is sometimes refered to as the University model due to scheduling similarities.
It hasn't affected socializing. Our program has about 12 kids per class and 2 to 3 classes per age group. Plenty of kids to socialise with. We're also very intentional with after school and mid week playdates. Seen no difference in this aspect relative to his time in public school.
I didn’t say socializing in general, I meant socializing outside of their age group when you said university
Awesome post. Okay now basic questions:
- So who was involved in homeschooling? Mom or dad? How many hours would you study? What was the routine like?
- how did they deal with creating a structure ? Organizing homeworks, lessons, final exams etc? 📚📝 Children typically don't respect they see someone at home everyday. Curious how they tacked that.
- how did your parents/ deal with getting up late or not doing your homework?
https://dominiccummings.substack.com/p/how-to-help-parents-and-teachers
Adding this one here above as it may be useful for curriculum development for maths
(+ some commentary and a call to action re UK homeschooling / other options)
from memory other homeschooling accounts in the jungle (on twitter) would be @bowtiedQueenBee (https://bowtiedqueenbee.substack.com/) and @bowtiedreverend
This is awesome stuff, very rich. Timely as well, as I'm considering home/unschooling for our children. Definitely not the kind of content (topic-wise) that I expect on BTB, but super grateful for it!
Great read, thank you for sharing your personal journey! I enjoyed it and would like to add something that I think is very important. Regardless of a child’s age, it’s challenging for parents to cultivate strong character in their kids if they don’t serve as role models themselves. While it might take years to develop these traits in isolation (as it did for me), it can happen more quickly with guidance (as I do with my clients I couch). I’m still learning and will continue to do so for the rest of my life, and I’m happy to homeschool my kids and keep growing alongside them. It’s important not just to raise your kids but to grow alongside them. Life is a lifelong learning journey, and children will greatly benefit if parents commit to upholding higher standards and exemplifying excellence.
The short answer is: it depends. It depends on factors like the age of your child, the established family dynamics, your current relationship with them, etc.
Without knowing the specifics, I’d recommend practicing empathic listening, especially if your kids are older. Stephen Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People covers this in detail. The whole book is worth reading but if you just want a quick answer to your question - go to the section called 'Seek First to Understand, Then to Be Understood.' He covers your question between pages 281 and 297 in my 2020 edition.
With my own kids, I focus on guiding rather than lecturing. I ask open-ended questions and encourage them to think through situations themselves, even if their conclusions differ from what I might prefer. This approach, inspired by Alfie Kohn’s Unconditional Parenting didn't come to me naturally at all... But when emotions subside, there's a clear value of the thought process over the outcome. It’s not always easy, but the long-term benefits are well worth the effort.
Finally, to coach effectively without lecturing (kids, employees, whoever), lead by example. As I mentioned earlier, strengthening your own character and behavior naturally increases your influence. Your actions will speak louder than words, and your integrity will set the standard for your kids.
I was homeschooled up until going to a public high school (to play sports). It was a weird 6 month adjustment but graduated as 'most popular'. I know sick brag. I only mention that to say, the social integration is easily achievable if parents are intentional in involving kids in other activities.
What did they have you do?
I'm eager to dig more deeply into this article and share it with my homeschooled kids. One comment: California is an incredibly great state to homeschool in. It's far easier here than most states.
Thanks. This takes some forward planning.
My research started with Jessie Wise "The Well Trained Mind" (4. ed)
- comments, pitfalls, other recommended resources not featured in article?
Wow.
Incredible article.
Having 3 kids, all of them in schooling ages, and seeing how dysfunctional and bored they are at public schools (even in a good area), this is a whole new world to explore.
wonder if it’s best to do a hybrid model like montessori
in the morning where it’s mostly socializing and play, then let them run loose with sports, a library, and a computer
any preference for the alternative schooling options? Like waldorf vs montessori
Montessori might work, but I’m skeptical about Waldorf in North America for several reasons:
1. They keep children in school until 3pm, even in the earlier grades.
2. Association of Waldorf Schools of North America is the certifying body for all American schools. Unless you’re elsewhere, AWSNA promotes ultra-left ideologies by rewriting books and curricula. Schools either comply or lose certification. Depending on where you stand on this, just know that 'Waldorf-inspired' education these days likely means the school is not certified, probably because they don’t align with AWSNA, and they are likely following a more traditional curriculum. Europe and other regions are different; this issue is specific to North America.
I meant any of the alternatives, not just waldorf